LECTUKES AND ESSAYS READ AT INSTITUTES. 403 



profitable topics and limitations, gossip is one of the worst vices. What 

 neighbors say, what they do, wear, eat ; their society, business, personal 

 appearance, loves, and religion, and specially their matrimonial prospects — 

 all this tittle-tattle, sweetened by approval, or embittered by spite, is retailed 

 at the family fireside. The seeds of anger, animosity, and social discord are 

 thus sown ; families are crushed ; neighbors are made irreconcilably hostile ; 

 and untold wretchedness is caused by this low, foul, and frivolous business. 

 Gossip is founded either in malice or imbecility. A chronic gossiper is incur- 

 able, but young people may be shown the dangers and evil of the habit, and 

 thus be reclaimed by proper instruction and culture — a change of pasture and 

 of heart. Conversation boasts of a sacred charter, " It is not good for man to 

 be alone." "As iron sharpeneth iron, so a man sharpeneth the countenance 

 of his friend;" but he needn't sharpen his tongue so that they may together 

 pick all the meat off other people's bones. 



Of all places in the world, home is the place to cultivate good manners. 

 We may be rich in solid gold, but be poor indeed in the small change of 

 politeness. That "fine words butter no parsnips," is a mistake. Fine words 

 and fine manners butter all kinds of parsnips; and there are many people 

 whose parsnips are buttered in no other way. Burke aptly says : "Manners 

 are of more importance than laws ; for upon these, in a great measure, the 

 laws depend. The laws touch us but here and there, now and then. Man- 

 ners are what vex or soothe, corrupt or purify, exalt or debase, barbarize 

 or refine us, by a constant, uniform, insensible operation, like that of the 

 air we breathe in. They give their whole form and color to our lives. 

 According to their quality they aid in morals, they supply laws, or they totally 

 destroy them." 



In most books of etiquette writers begin and end away from home as if the 

 laws of behavior and codes of manners were of value only at the neighbors, 

 and had no value or application at home. Now, as a matter of fact, may not 

 home happiness be greatly increased by a nice attention to manners, or the 

 " minor morals " of life? The basis of true courtesy is respect. If you can 

 teach the young fellow who grunts over the newspaper at his mother and sister 

 a thorough respect for humanity, you have planted the true seeds of good 

 manners; otherwise you will veneer in vain with the forms of politeness. 

 "Give a boy address and accomplishments," says Emerson, "and you give 

 him the mastery of mansions, palaces, and fortunes wherever he goes. He has 

 not the trouble of earning them or owning them ; they solicit him to enter and 

 possess ;" while coarseness and gruffness lock doors and close hearts against him. 

 Politeness may be called benevolence in small things. The true gentleman is 

 one whose aims are generous; whose trust is constant; whose word is never 

 broken; whose honor is never stained; who is brave, gentle, honest, and wise; 

 who wrongs no one by word or deed, and who devotes and embellishes life by 

 nobility of thought, depth of feeling, and grace of manner. "The taste for 

 beauty and relish for what is decent, just, and amiable perfects the character 

 of a gentleman." The true lady is his counterpart; pure, refined, generous, 

 sweet-tempered, gentle of speech, truthful to her heart's core; instant in well- 

 doing, shunning the very shadow of evil ; of tempered enthusiasm, exquisite 

 innocence, frank gayety, and boundless love, — to such grace and fine manners 

 must come as the admirable outcome of noble, divine qualities of mind and 

 heart. 



We live at home, so that all are interested in making home attractive and 

 enjoyable. Good manners may be defined as the art of making those we live 



