THE ALUMNI JOURNAL. 43 



WHAT NEXT. AMERICAN PHARHACIES. 



BY C. H. PATRICK. 



Now that poets have exhausted, 



All their wit on "Trilby" fair. 

 And the people are disgusted 



With the style of Trilby air. 

 You will wonder if her phoenix 



Will again in distant years. 

 Rise and climb to novel's zenith. 



Filling maidens eyes with tears. 



Or, perhaps you still may wonder, 



If she has a brother fair? 

 Who on men will shed a luster. 



In our next century scare. 

 And the husband's all sit reading, 



Of the hero's mighty charge. 

 Heedless of his good wife's threatenings, 



While the babies run at large. 



And perhaps Grover may wonder, 



In his silver bloomers new, 

 Will people forget his blunder. 



In the recent tariff stew? 

 And elect him for a third term. 



To reign our people just. 

 While he goes out pigeon hunting. 



And the old flag trails in dust. 



Or McKane may dream of "Coney," 



And the pull that brought him fame, 

 But when he wakes, oh, how fuuny, 



To behold that ball and chain.-. 

 And to hear the merry jingle, 



Of his comrades hustling out. 

 Waiting on him for to mingle. 



As the guard yells ''all file out." 



So we are ever kept guessing, 



Of the future's hidden book, 

 Of the rapid transit scheming, 



And how big Broadway will look. 

 Who will be Parkhurst's next victim ? 



What will be Croker's next text. 

 Will New York and Brooklyn mix in. 



What on earth will we have next? 



RULES FOR DOSES. 

 Dr. Griffith gives the following as the best 

 scheme known for ascertaining the doses for 

 children. It obviates all guessing at weight, 

 etc,, so objectionable to other rules : 



Adult I 



i8 years 3-4 



12 years 2-3 



8 to 10 years -- 1-2 



6 years i-3 



4 years i~4 



3 years i~5 



2 years i^7 



I year \-\o 



9 months 1-15 



6 months 1-20 



3 months 1-30 



The following is part of an article 

 which was printed in one of our daily 

 papers not long ago. It is an article sup- 

 posed to be written by a foreigner, after 

 a visit to this country. 



"A few words must really be given to one 

 order of shops so diflferent from our own ; I al- 

 lude to the drug stores. With us, this business 

 is a sort of mystery ; the personage who dis- 

 penses drugs is scarcely engaged in a pursuit 

 merely commercial ; he makes display of his 

 diplomas, and officiates as one dedicated to a 

 cult. Not so in the United States, where the 

 drug store is an avenue for the dispersion of 

 flowers, cigars, postage stamps and refreshing 

 drinks. The proprietor of one drug store out 

 West is also Postmaster and cuts hair. I must 

 be permitted to quote our lively countryman, 

 M. de Guerville : 



"'Landed in New York,' says he, 'my 

 friend, William P., whom I had known in 

 Paris, took me in hand, and undertook to show 

 me New York. After a breakfast at Delmon- 

 ico's Sunday morning, the American ' Bignon,' 

 we set out to explore Central Park. "That 

 rose in your buttonhole is a beauty, William," 

 said I. 



"'"Hang it!" he answered, "You must 

 have one, too. There ought to be a drug store 

 hereabouts ? ', and he looked around. 



" ' " What do we want of a drug store ?" said 

 I. 



" ' "To get you a boutonniere," said he; and 

 sure enough, he descried a drug store and in- 

 sisted on decorating me with a beautiful flower. 

 As we were returning from the Park later — it 

 was July, and grilling — 



'' ' "Aren't you thirsty?" asked William. 



"' I professed my willingness to accept re- 

 freshment. 



"'"There ought to be a drug store here- 

 abouts." he answered, and took me into one. 

 They gave us a mixture of ice cream and soda 

 water which prickled the palate, the throat and 

 all the way down, and was, in short, abomin- 

 able. After we had dinner at the close of the 

 day we again strolled up Broadway. 



" ' "Let us smoke," said William. 



" ' "Content," said I, and he added : 



" ' "There ought to be a drug store here- 

 abouts." 



" 'I was paralyzed, but we discovered a drug 

 store and there we procured cigars. Returning 



