84 Thirty-Sixth Annual Report of the 



plough all day long than to teach a measly calf how to drink. 

 And I think he would by the way he went about it. I watched 

 him. He rolled up his sleeves as though he was going to a prize 

 fight. I never went to a prize fight, but 1 always fancied I would 

 roll up my sleeves. Then he took a pail, and he marched out to 

 the barn. The poor little thing had never looked down for its 

 meals and it didn't just know what to do, so it eyed the man, and 

 he stepped up in front of it and he put down the pail, and he 

 grabbed it and threw one leg over its neck and he rammed its 

 nose into the pail until the bubbles came up, and of course the 

 calf kicked, — wouldn't you ? I think if you were breathing milk 

 into your lungs instead of air that you would make resistance. 

 And, of course, it took him quite a while to get the calf used to 

 such treatment. 



Now I will tell you how mother and the girls would do. As 

 I said before, they aren't smart, but they are shrewd, and they 

 would begin at the very outset to flatter that calf. They would 

 tell it it was the sweetest thing, the dearest thing that ever came 

 to the herd ; and it would believe them, because you can flatter 

 a calf almost as easily as you can a man. (Applause.) Yes, 

 you can. And then they would get it off in a corner, 

 quietly back it down while they were talking to it, — why, I have 

 actually known women to get men in a corner and manage them 

 so. beautifully that they never knew they were being managed at 

 all, — and then they would put the fingers in the milk and they 

 would bend the head a little lower until the lips grasped the 

 fingers and began to draw up the milk, — the nostrils w^eren't 

 plunged in the milk, and I have known them to learn to drink 

 in just one lesson. Sometimes it requires more, but you must 

 use patience and patience will pay you big dividends in the cow 

 barn. 



Now, you have it drinking, how much will you give it? It 

 is a fine grade and you won't be stingy with that calf. Be care- 

 ful ! Don't you know that a calf's stomach is very small and 

 that if you distend it unnaturally with a large quantity of milk, 

 you are going to bring on trouble right away? Therefore I 

 ask you to measure that milk carefully for the first three weeks ; 

 feed it no more than two quarts at a single feed, and feed it 

 three times a day so that you don't feed it too much at a time 

 for the first three weeks. Now, if it isn't very strong, feed it 

 less than that quantity, don't feed it quite so much. At the most 

 that will be six quarts a day and no more. At the end of the 

 first week, you may add some skim milk ; at the end of the 

 second week, the entire amount may be skim milk ; and at the 

 end of the third week, it may be divided into night and morning 

 feeds. 



