FIGHTING THE INSECTS 



Two more stories might be added. The Club's first attempt 

 at a dining-room was a simple grill-room in the basement. A 

 capital negro cook named Dangerfield, whose ancestors might 

 have been the slaves of the old Dangerfield family of Alexandria, 

 was engaged, and his cooking was superb, especially all sea 

 foods. One day a newly appointed Chairman of the House 

 Committee went down to look into arrangements, and the fol- 

 lowing was the conversation: 



Chairman: "Well, Dangerfield, how are you getting along?" 



Dangerfield: "Fust rate, sah; but dey suttenly is a cu'ious set of 

 men in dis yere club." 



Chairman: "How's that? What do you mean?" 



Dangerfield: "Well, sah, heah's a case: A gemman come down for 

 lunch, and he ordeh a Spanish mackeral. Foh Gawd, sah, dey wa'n't 

 no Spanish mackeral in de place, but I didn't s'pose de gemman would 

 know de dif'rence. So I tuk a ordinary mackeral, cut of? de head and 

 de tail, split it and broiled it up fine, and sont it in by Torm, de 

 waiter boy. Right soon Torm come back and he say, 'Mist' Danger- 

 field, de gemman say dat ain't no Spanish mackeral.' And I say, 'Torm, 

 you go back an' tell de gemman dat sho is a Spanish mackeral,' and 

 denn Torm come back and he say, 'De gemman say dat he want to 

 see de head and de tail of dat fish.' I didn't s'pose de gemman would 

 know the dif'rence, so I put de head and de tail on de silver waiter 

 and sont it in. Putty soon Torm come back and say, 'Mist' Danger- 

 field, de gemman got you. He say de gills is de wrong shape and dat 

 dey is too many rays in de tail.' I ask about dat gemman, and I find 

 dat his name is Fedo Gill and dat he know mo' about fishes dan any 

 man in America. I ain't puttin' up no mo' jobs on any of de gemman 

 in dis here club." 



The second yarn is also about the old grill-room. One summer 

 evening eight of us were dining together at a big table. As the 

 only Club officer among them, I sat at the head. The weather 

 was hot and the conversation was not inspiring, so the men 



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