FORTY-SECOND ANNUAL REPORT. 103 



crown into his hat, and walked on. Shortly he returned and threw in 

 another one when the Englishman asked him why he was so generous. 

 He replied, "It is because you are trimmed to my liking." (Laughter.) 

 Mr. Garfield — Ladies and gentlemen and friends : We have come with- 

 in the hour and I thank all these good people who have responded so 

 delightfully to my request, and I congratulate you upon having in 

 your midst men and women who can speak so feelingly and so instruc- 

 tively. It seems to me that these annual gatherings in which we ex- 

 press ourselves pro and con in this way are the best part of the oc- 

 casion, and no matter who the people may vote for, when we go over 

 to Canada or when they come here, in a large sense, we all believe in 

 reciprocity. I thank you most heartily and now we may consider our- 

 selves dismissed. 



HOW TO MAKE A SUCCESS OF PEACH GROWING. 



HORACE SESSIONS, SHELBY. 



Mr. President, Ladies and Gentlemen : Yesterday when I sat back 

 there and saw that fine bunch of young men up here on the rostrum 

 and listened to them give us such splendid short and pithy speeches 

 on vital topics, I remarked to Mr. Bassett, "It would be better to call 

 on them to take my part than for me to speak." 



I don't know anything new in peaches — it is the same old story — 

 almost as bad as the Irishman. It seemed that Pat had not had much 

 experience in horticulture in Ireland ; never saw a peach grown, did 

 not know anything about peaches when he came to Michigan. But Mike 

 had been telling him about the wonderful peaches, especially in Oceana 

 county, and at evening Pat suggested that they take a stroll out and 

 get some peaches. So they went out. The night was rather dark but 

 Mike knew where the peaches were and so when they got to the orchard, 

 he said to Pat: "If you want so*me good peaches feel around on the 

 ground." He did so and finally found a peach, but there was a small 

 hop-toad on it, but he ate it down just the same. Then he exclaimed, 

 "Mike, Mike do peaches have legs?" "Of course not" said Pat. "Be- 

 jabers then I swallowed a straddle bug." I know a little more than 

 that, but not much. 



I did not think how egotistical that would look in print. I do not 

 think, however, I am so egotistical as that might give you an idea— 

 not so bad as the story I heard the other day. 



It seems that a man had a dream and he thought that he had passed 

 over the Great Divide and arrived at the Pearly Gates. But he found 

 Roosevelt had arrived there just ahead of him and was knocking at the 

 Gate when he came up. 



Saint Peter said "who's there?" And the voice called out, "Roose- 

 velt." 



"Ah, open wide the gates" said Saint Peter. 



"How are you ? Walk right in." Then Roosevelt said : 



"Is there anything to do in here?" 



