36 The Bulletin. 



ing the babe was ill with colic. The experienced aunt listened and said it 

 was not tbe cry of pain, but that the babe wished to be taken up. The 

 parents could not believe that the child could so early know its own will. To 

 prove her point, the aunt took the babe up. It ceased its crying. She re- 

 placed it in the crib and the crying conunencefl again. She insisted that they 

 should save themselves and the child many sleepless, or rather, disturbed 

 nights — and let it "cry it out." They did ; but it required an hour and a half 

 before the child came to a realization that his crying could not force any one 

 to give him his way. Then he ceased, and went to sleep quietly, as a good 

 baby should. The next night the same performance was repeated, and at the 

 same time, but it lasted less than an hour. The third night he woke and 

 cried for about fifteen minutes. The fourth night he woke without any cry- 

 ing. The fifth, the victory was complete. The child slept through the night, 

 and nevermore gave the parents any midnight horrors. Better, still, the 

 child had learned a valuable lesson. These parents, too, learned just as valu- 

 able a one: that by patient determination they could bring the child to the 

 right. The pmcr.ts of learning, I doubt not, was even harder for the parents 

 than for the child. 



In the process of spoiling a child, I really believe that the parents become 

 even more badly spoiled, in that more and more they lose confidence in them- 

 selves and in their power to carry out their own commands. 



I would urge every mother of a young babe to commence at the very first. 

 If there are mothers here who have older children who have not been taught 

 perfect obedience, that you resolve, first, to be firm with yourself, to hold 

 yourself unflinchingly to your duty ; then that you will go home and give the 

 children "no quarter," as it were, until you and they together have learned 

 this fundamental lesson — that it is yours to train and control, theirs to obey. 

 For an unrestrained, uncontrolled child of several years of age. the lesson 

 is much harder ; so you will need greater firmness with yourself as well as 

 with your child. You will need to meet every act of disobedience, or pouting, 

 or reluctance with its punishment — a dozen times a day if necessary. Two 

 weeks of this will more than likely be all-sufficient to show the child that you 

 must be obeyed. Once the child understands this, the battle is won. You 

 will need little more thereafter than to watch — not only your child, but your- 

 self — that you hold the ground you have gained, ruling with a steady, firm, 

 kind hand. The means and method for attaining this? If you have the great 

 moral strength possessed by very feir. you will be able to secure the end 

 without punishment or chastisement. If, however, you belong to the average 

 class, you will fail utterly unless you resort, at least occasionally, to some 

 form of punishment. For myself. I am a firm believer in the keen switch — 

 not the hand nor the heavy rule, but tbe keen switch which stings, hurts, but 

 does not bruise. Never, I pray you. punish in anger nor slap the child about 

 the face or head! Do you say you have no time for all this? Then you have 

 no time to be a mother : you should not have married, nor brought children 

 into the world. Now that they are here — mind you. through no choice of 

 theirs- — you are bound to train them aright, or how dare you meet them at 

 God's judgment bar? The older I grow the more convinced I am that a 

 parent can show a child no greater unkindness than to fail to train him in 

 obedience. A friend of mine, the mother of four children, says that lasiuess 

 on the part of parents is the cause of improperly controlled children; and the 

 more I think of it the more convinced I am that she is right. We fail in our 

 duty to our children through laziness, even though wo be never so industrious 

 in other lines, and then we deceive oiu'selves into thinking that we are loving, 

 tender hearted ! 



This controlling the children should, invariably, go hand in hand with lov- 

 ing sympathy with them in their joys and in their sorrows. It is not enough 

 to feel this sympathy, but we should take time to show it in our i)articipation 

 with them in their interests. When the two — the firm control and sympathy — 

 are thus linked together, there is no danger of losing the child's love. Have 

 you not seen it, time and again, that the jiarent who was most strict, if also 

 loving, was the one the child loved most? With my own children. I have 

 never known it to fail, that they were much more loving and affectionate, for 



