108 Missouri Agricultural Eeport. 



let the Dairyman stay with the best protector from financial storms 

 they have ever known, and you go and stay with the gods of war in 

 the oleomargarine camp until the storm is past, and the Dairyman's 

 sky is cloudless. A representative once asked a lawyer to draft a bill 

 for a dog law, and he said, "Make it so it will satisfy my constituents, 

 and won't interfere with the dogs." I would say to the Missouri re- 

 presentative, the opportunity is now presented for you to introduce 

 a bill that will satisfy your Dairyman constituents and not interfere 

 in any way with your constituents that are producers, and at the same 

 time a direct benefit to those consumers to whom you are indebted for 

 the position you occupy. Take advantage of conditions, and render 

 this most valuable specific service, and there will be an abundant 

 harvest for those who placed in your hands a sacred trust ; don 't let 

 it be said of you what the boy said of his father when he was being 

 coached in arithmetic to make a proposition plain to him. The teacher 

 said, "Now suppose you would let your father have $100 and he prom- 

 ised to pay you $10 a week, how much would he owe you at the end 

 of seven weeks." The boy said, "One hundred dollars." The teacher 

 said, "I'm afraid you don't know arithmetic very well, and the boy 

 said, "May be I don't, but I know my father." 



As I contemplated the personnel of the audience that would as- 

 semble here tonight, and the different interests and pursuits and pro- 

 fessions that would be represented, and as I read the program, and saw 

 the different subjects that were to be discussed, I recognized in the 

 request to respond to the sentiment selected for me, a tribute of honor 

 and respect to the Dairymen of ]\Iissouri. I am not unmindful that the 

 credit is due to a wonderfully increased interest in dairying, brought 

 about through a combination of influences, the most prominent of which 

 is this institution of learning, and the officers connected with it in vari- 

 ous capacities. It is said that in Minnesota, when a man goes into 

 a bank to borrow money, while the banker is asking him how much he 

 wants and how long he wants it for, he looks out through the wicket 

 at the man's feet, and if his boots are clean he tells the man he can get 

 the money, but according to the rule of the bank he will have to get 

 some good man to sign the note with him; but if he has milk on his 

 boots he can get all the money he wants and don't need any signer. 

 The Mason wears a square and compass badge ; the Odd Fellow a three- 

 link pin ; the Woodmen an Axe ; the cattleman wears spurs ; the mule 

 man carries a whip ; the tobacco man is known by his odor ; the miller 

 has flour on his hat; the mechanic, sawdust; the brick-mason, brick- 

 dust; the plasterer, lime; the shoemaker has holes in his shoes; the 

 minister wears a white tie ; the Doctor smells of medicine ; the merchant 



