Report of Missouri Farmers' Week. 393 



Webster says that a machine is any contrivance to increase 

 and regulate motive power, one who acts mechanically or at the 

 bidding of another. Someone has said, "A rose by any other name 

 would smell just as sweet." So upon this hypothesis we will pre- 

 sume that a cow by any other name would be just as useful, and 

 with that understanding we will discuss her today from the stand- 

 point of a machine. It is evident from the definition of machine 

 as given by Webster there are two general kinds, one animate, the 

 other inanimate, and the man who attempted to milk a kicking 

 cow without tying her legs together or was careless and thought- 

 less enough to wave a red flag in front of her, or her brother, will 

 agree with me that she belongs to the animate class of machinery, 

 for in the one instance he would have acted mechanically at the 

 bidding of another when he was kicked off the stool (in which 

 case he would be the machine), while in the other instance she 

 would get into the machine class by increasing and regulating his 

 motive power, as in the case of the boy and his sister crossing a cow 

 pasture when a bull was attracted by a red jacket worn by the 

 little girl and he started after them full tilt. The boy and girl, 

 holding each others hands, ran for their lives. The bull was gain- 

 ing on them and the little girl said to her brother, "You must pray 

 or we will be killed." The boy said "I can't think of any prayer." 

 She said, "You must say something." So he said, "The only thing 

 I can think of is papa's blessing." So the sister said, "Say that," 

 and when they were within a few yards of the fence where they 

 could crawl under and the bull was almost on them, the boy said, 

 "Oh, Lord, make us thankful for what we are about to receive" — 

 and they slid under the fence. 



The word machine opens up a train of thought almost infinite 

 in its scope and brings to view an aggregation that because of the 

 boundless space it occupies actually makes our minds tired, for the 

 world is full of machines, animate and inanimate, and I deem it 

 unnecessary to say that all of the animate machines are not cows. 



Among those that are inanimate are electrical, gas, steam, 

 gasoline, water, wind, and those names indicate the different 

 motive powers which are increased through contrivances that are 

 particularly adapted to each one of these forms and these con- 

 trivances are called machines. 



There is a marked difference in the increase of inanimate 

 machines of the same characteristics and human machines. One is 

 prevented by the protecting arm of the government through the 



