1856.1 or, a Family Fracas. 37 



testament, I desire tliat my debts, amounting to the sum of one pound, 

 three shillings, and eight pence, be paid forthwith of my estate ; that mj 

 funeral be strictly private, in Barnes churchyard, where I last parted 

 with one whom I loved, but who has gone abroad, I am told ; and to that 

 one of my relations who will erect a tombstone, I bequeath — 



* Hark ! will you ! ' cried one ; ' be quiet. Go on— yes, yes. Oh : you 

 wretch, where's your feelings ! Go to the devil !' 



* Eeally, ladies and gentlemen,' said I, ' this is most indecorous.' 



'I bequeath,' continued Mr. Shaw, 'my dying blessing and for- 

 giveness.' 



Mr. Shaw then folded up the will and put it into his pocket, saying— 



' I wish you all good morning, ladies and gentlemen. I sold the few 

 clothes and other matters he died possessed of, and paid for the funeral, 

 and his debts ; being myself minus one shilling and four pence, which 1 

 hope you will some of you pay.' 



It is quito impossible by any words to fairly depict to the reader the 

 appearance of Mr. Jordan's relations at this moment. If the fabled 

 Gorgon's head had suddenly appeared, and transformed them all to 

 stone, they could not have looked more completely paralyzed and panic- 

 stricken. 



' A tomb-stone I' shrieked twenty voices. ' A tombstone !' 



* A tombstone !' said Mr. Shaw. ' A small one would not cost much. 

 You could put on it a suitable inscription. Here lies — ' 



* Lies here — never mind,' said the brother. ' Never mind. I — I — Oh, 

 that's all, is it.' 



' You are a humbug,' said the masculine woman to Mr. Shaw, ' and so 

 was old stupid Jordan.' 



' Go to the deuce, all of you,' shouted another ; ' a tombstone indeed.' 

 Mr. Shaw was wiping his spectacles. 



* Ladies and gentlemen, allow me to add, — ' 



'Oh, stuff, stuff! Bother! A tombstone indeed; I shan't stay 

 another moment. An old thief. I wish a tombstone had been down his 

 throat. Come on ! Come on! It's all a do.' 



* But, ladies and gentlemen. — ' 



They were quite deaf to the remonstrances of Mr. Shaw, and in a 

 few moments the chambers were quite clear, with the exception of Mrs. 

 Mary Grantham, who was sobbing bitterly. She then rose, and looked 

 at me hesitatingly. Then she looked at Mr. Shaw, and she seemed to 

 be struggling to say something. She placed her hand in her bosom, and 

 drew forth a ring tied to a black ribbon, and then, with a convulsive 

 effort she spoke. 



