1856.] Kate Osborne. 231 



acknowledge the corn, cob and all I ha, ha, ha! I gin up beat, kurnel; 

 yeour a little too much punkins for Dick Quiik I " and he gave another 

 resounding 'guffaw,' as if laughing at himself for his discomfiture. A 

 hearty laugh, like ' a soft answer,' turneth away wrath. Ihe colonel's ire 

 was instantly cooled by this cachiuatory compliment to his superior 

 adroitness in ' bamboozlement,' and an awkward kind of smile came peep- 

 ing from behind the sturdy frown that but a moment before betokened 

 such ' larruping ' results to Mr. Quirk. At that moment a smothered 

 feminine titter was heard behind the blinds of the parlor window, and 

 directly Kate was seen with agile foot-step skipping out of the parlor, 

 and out through the back hall, with her face muffled in her handkerchief 

 by both hands, as though she had a desperate attack of the tooth-ache ! 



After a few minutes of rather embarrassing silence on the porch, Mr. 

 Quirk suggested that he would like to have their bargain completed, 

 else he ' must be goin' on to find another situation, afore night.' " Very 

 well," replied the farmer ; " let us fix it up right off— that's my way — 

 no use of palavering about it. My fingers are rather stiff and clumsy, 

 though, to write the contract — can't you write it? " 



" Wal, no— I guess not very well ; besides I've hearn say that artickles 

 ain't lawful unless some other person writes 'em. And seein' that this 

 is a purty big bargain, for four months work, it better be done rio-ht 

 strong ; hain't yeou got some one in the heouse that can write it ? " 



" Confounded bother ! '' muttered the Col. ; " Nobody but a yankee 

 would ever want an article for such a trifling affair. Kate ! hillo, Kate ! 

 come here a minute ! " called the father. Kate came. Xow, as a gen- 

 tleman of the old school of politeness, farmer Osborne was punctilious in 

 the matter of manners; so, when Kate appeared, he presented her, with 

 dignity, by saying — ' my daughter, Mr. Quirk.' AYhereupon Mr. Quirk 

 rose, and putting himself into a Yankee-schoolmaster's attitude, with 

 the right hand extended a la pump-handle, and drawing the heel of his 

 right foot into the hollow of the left, finally elaborated a profound bow, 

 and stammered out an expression of his ' happiness in having the pleasure 

 of making her acquaintance ' ( ! ) which civility Kate recognized by a cur- 

 tesy much lower and more elaborate than even politeness would demand, — 

 certainly more so than is usual for young ladies, just from boarding 

 school, to bestow upon young gentlemen in ' cotton-drilling and nankeen.' 

 But the Col. saw nothing of this, or, if he did, very naturally accredited 

 it to Mrs. Willard's superior training of his daughter in the principles 

 of etiquette. 



" We want a little contract drawn, Kate," said her father, " and as 

 your fingers are nimble you can do it better than we can, whose hands 



