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THE FARMER'S MAGAZINE. 



he felt when he said that he was quite sure a more efficient 

 secretary to the Wakefield Farmers' Club might be found 

 than himself (No, no). He thought so, however. Mr. 

 Briggs had told them tliat during the time he was the sec- 

 retary the difficulty he had was that of scarcity ; but (and 

 he might say that they were always in the habit of consider- 

 ing present difficulties the greatest) that was not the one 

 he had to contend with, but the contrary ; his difficulty 

 being how to guide such great numbers, how to please and 

 cater, in a subject of such vast importance as farming for 

 such a body of real practical sterling farmers as they had at 

 that club. He Mt his incapacity to perform the duties in 

 the way he thought they should be performed, and he had 

 sometimes thought it would be best if he were to resign his 

 ofKce. He had some knowledge of what a farmers' club 

 ought to be, however ; and, though they had not yet 

 reached the point which they might reach, he believed that 

 much would be effected by continual effort ; and what they 

 had to do, everyone of them, was to devote themselves to 

 whatever would promote the interest of the club. Mr. 

 13rigg9 had spoken very kindly in reference to him, and he 

 had felt his heart melted as he spoke ; and he could assure 

 them that it always made him glad when he pleased them. 

 His heart was wrapt up in the Wakefield Farmers' Club, 

 and rather than neglect his duties iu connection with it he 

 would deny himself of his necessary sleep. That beautiful 

 and handsome present which had been given to him would 

 certaiuly not render him apathetic, but on the contrary 

 would stimulate him to farther exertions. He should like 

 to see the Wakefield F irmers' Club the first club in England 

 for sound prajtical skill; and even n3w its lectures had re- 

 ceived the high encomiums of the London press, which was 

 not to be wondered at, when they considered what manner 

 of men they were that delivered their lectures. They had 

 had many good meetings in that room, and it was his hope 

 that they should have many more, though he believed it 

 would conduce to the prosperity of the Club if they had a 

 larger room in which they could meet. Again he would say 

 that he did not attribute that present act of kindness to- 

 wards him to any merit on his part, but to the kindhearted- 

 ness of the members of the Club. Ever since he had held 

 the postof secretary to them, he had, with some trifling ex- 

 ceptions, been treated with the greatest kindness, and re- 

 ceived every assistance from the members of the club ; and 

 this he hoped would be continued, though if ever he neg- 

 lected his duty he would be glad to be told of it. With 

 regard to the club he hoped that all its members would be 

 Btimula'ed to set out afresh, and, by an increase of num- 

 bers, combined with wisdom and experience, he deter- 

 mines to make it second to none in the kingdom. He did 

 not think that any club was now superior to it, with the 

 exception of the London Club ; and even with regard to 

 that, one of its members told him that in all practical mat- 

 ters it must give place to the club at Wakefield. He 

 hoped tl at character would continue to apply to them, and if 

 it did they could not fail to benefit the country, for no class 

 of men did the country more good than did the farmers. 

 He had been thinking of that queer man — that nonde- 

 script, who now rules across the Channel— who had been 

 taking lessons in free trade from Mr. Cobden, and thinking 

 that if he were to turn the national mind to good farming, 

 instead of ideas of glory, the country would rise, for no 

 country ever throve that dabbled in bloodshed. England, 

 it was true, had had too much of war ; but at the same 

 time her manufactures and railroads had gone on, and the 

 result was that no other country had attained such a degree 

 of prosperity. Jle again thanked them for the kindness 

 manifested towards him that day, and in conclusion he 

 wished to them all, health, prosperity, and long life. 



FARMER NEWSTYLE AND FARMER OLD- 

 STYLE. 

 (From Warhurton's Hunting Songs and Miscellaneous Verses). 



" Good day," said Farmer Oldstyle, taking Newstyle by 



the arm ; 

 " I be cum to look aboit me, wilt'ee show me o'er thy farm ?" 

 Young Newstyle took his wideawake, and lighted a cigar. 

 And said, " Won't I astonish you, old-fashioned as you are ! 



" No doubt you have an aneroid ? ere starting, you shall see 

 How truly mine prognosticates what weather there will be." 

 " I aint got no such gimcrack, but I knows there'll be a 



slush 

 When I sees th' oud ram tak' shelter wi* his tail agen a 



bush." 

 "Allow me, first, to show you the analysis I keep. 

 And the compounds to explain of this experimental heap, 

 Where hydrogen, and nitrogen, and oxygen abound. 

 To hasten germination and to fertilize the ground." 

 " A pratty soight o' laming you have piled up of a ruck ; 

 The only name it went by in my feyther's time was muck ; 

 I knows not how that tool you calls a nollysis may work ; 

 I turns it, when its rotten, pretty handy wi' a fork." 

 " A famous pen of Cotswolds ! Pass your hand along the 



back — 

 Fleeces fit for stuffing the Lord Chancellor's woolsack ! 

 For premiums e'en Inquisitor would own these wethers are 



fit; 

 If you want to purchase good 'uns you must go to Mr. 



Garfit. 

 "Two bulls first-rate, of different breeds— the judges all 



protest 

 Both are so super-excellent, they know not which is best ; 

 Fair, could he see this Ayrshire, would with jealousy beril'd. 

 That haiiy one's a Welshman, and was bred by Mr. Wild." 

 " Well, well, that little hairy bull he shanna be so bad ; 

 But what be yonder beast I hear a bellowing like mad, 

 A snortin' fire and smoke out ? — be it some big Roosian 



gun.^ 

 Or be it twenty bullocks squz together into one ?" 

 " My steam Factotum that, Sir, doing all I have to do— 

 My ploughman, and my reaper, and my jolly thrasher too ; 

 Steam yet but in its infancy, no mortfJ man alive 

 Can tell to what perfection modern farming will arrive. 

 "Steam, as yet, is but an infant" He had scarcely 



said the word 

 When through the tottering farmstead was a loud explosion 



heard ; 

 The engine dealing death around, destruction and dismay ; 

 Though steam be but an infant, this, indeed, was no child's 



play. 

 The women screamed like blazes as the blazing hayrick 



burn'd, 

 The sucking pigs were in a crack all into crackling turn'd ; 

 Grill'd chickens clog the hen-coop, roasted ducklings choke 



the gutter. 

 And turkeys round the poultry yard on devil'd pinions 



flutter. 

 Two feet deep in buttermilk the stoker's two feet lie. 

 The cook, before she bakes it, finds a finger in the pie ; 

 The labourers for their lost legs were looking round the 



farm, 

 They could not lend a hand because they had not got an 



arm. 



Oldstyle, all soot from head to foot, look'd like a big black 



sheep ; 

 Newstyle was thrown upon his own experimental heap ; 

 " That weather-glass," said Oldstyle, " canna be in proper 



settle. 

 Or it might as well a tou'd us there was thunder in the 



kettle." 

 " Steam is so expansive." " Ay," said Oldstyle, " so I see ; 

 So expensive, as you call it, that it wunna do for me ; 

 According to my notion, that's a beast that canna pay. 

 Who champs up foi his morning feed a hundred ton o' hay." 

 Then to himself said Oldstyle, as he homewards quickly 



went, 

 " I'll tak' no farm where th' doctor's bill be heavier than the 



rent ; 

 I've never in hot water been ; steam shanna speed my 



plough. 

 And I'd liefer thrash my oats out by the sweat of my own 



brow. 

 " I neether want to scald my pigs, nor toast my cheese, not I, 

 Afore the butcher sticks 'em, or the factor comes to buy ; 

 They shanna catch me here again to risk my limbs and ioif ; 

 I've nought at whoam to blow me up, except it be my woif." 



