CHANGED CONDITIONS 175 



pleasant life. It is delightful to hear and to think 

 of happy people. ... I have to remind myself how 

 intensely happy I have been, and then the hope 

 comes that what has been will be. I am glad of one 

 thing, — I knew how happy I was — every day and 

 hour had its full value, and looking back I have a 

 sense of possession that nothing can take from me. 

 What I have had is mine. Alex keeps pretty well thus 

 far but will go off somewhere in February, I think. 

 I miss him desperately when he goes, for Alex is to 

 me a very companionable man. He tells me a great 

 deal of his scientific life and work, of his plans for 

 the Museum, etc., and that keeps me still a little 

 in the same intellectual atmosphere to w^hich I am 

 accustomed. We dine at six — coffee after; then I 

 read to the boys for an hour or more; before nine 

 they are in bed, and then Alex and I have a cup 

 of tea — destructive and dangerous to the nerves, 

 but very pleasant, — and then is our time for talk, 

 and if Alex is writing anything, he often reads it to 

 me, and we discuss it together. All this is a real 

 source of happiness, and you must not think I do 

 not appreciate it. I do, and constantly think how 

 blessed I am in my children and grandchildren. 

 But with all his activity — and Alex's life is crowded 

 with work from morning to night — it is such a 

 broken life. You see it in his look whenever his face 

 is quiet and thoughtful — at least, I do, knowing his 

 expression so well. The children are all well — Ro- 

 dolphe enchanting and developing in intelligence 

 wonderfully. 



