442 THE GARDENER. [Oct. 



was flagrant, and his previous convictions were numerous, he was 

 specially anxious to obtain an acquittal. He presented himself in 

 deep mourning, and wore the expression of a simple, modest citizen, 

 who really didn't know what a tandem was. He placed a pile of 

 ancient tomes by his side (Greek Lexicons for the most part, and 

 Latin Dictionaries lent to him by the undergraduates), and consulted 

 them from time to time, during his trial, upon difficult points of law. 

 He bowed to the court at intervals with a most profound respect, and 

 he addressed the Doctor as "My Lord Judge," "Your Grace," and 

 " Venerable Sir." But when the verdict was given, and the defendant 

 heavily fined, I never saw anything in dissolving views so marvellous 

 as Tom Perrin. He set his hat jauntily on the side of his head ; he 

 shut his Lexicons with a bang, and, confronting his judge with a look 

 of scorn and disgust, he said — " MacBride, if this be law, hequity, or 



justice, I'm ," well, let us say, something which happens to a 



brook when its waters are arrested by a temporary barrier constructed 

 across the stream. 



So does our irascible exhibitor now glare around him with " the 

 dragon eyes of angered Eleanor." He would like a revival of those 

 days when "a judge was not sacred from violence. Any one might 

 interrupt him, might accuse him of iniquity and corruption in the 

 most reproachful terms, and, throwing down his gauntlet, might 

 challenge him to defend his integrity in the field ; nor could he with- 

 out infamy refuse to accept his defiance, or decline to enter the lists 

 against such an adversary."''' That is to say, he would like to inter- 

 rupt, to accuse, to reproach, and perhaps to challenge, but certainly 

 not to fight, for these passionate folk are invariably cowards. They 

 dare not attack with anything but words ; unless they possess an over- 

 whelming power, like that suburban, pot-house, betting Eleven, who 

 once upon a time persuaded Jimmy Dean to act as umpire at one 

 of their boosy matches, and ran him home six miles across country 

 with furious execrations and threats to London, because he gave a 

 decision adverse to their interest at a critical period of the game. 



At one time you will see the Irascible Exhibitor standing by his 

 Roses, and revealing his wrongs to any who will hear ; occasionally 

 making a deep impression upon elderly ladies, and almost persuading 

 very young reporters to chronicle his woes in print ; but oftener fail- 

 ing to evoke sympathy, you will find him with a countenance, like Dis- 

 pleasure in the ' Fairy Queen,' " lompish and full suUein," aloof, 

 solitary — like some morose old pike swimming slowly about in a back- 

 water, while all the other fishes are leaping in the sunlit stream. 



* Robertson's * History of Charles V.,' vol. i. 



