April 10. 1902. 



The Weekly Florists^ Review, 



705 



MORE TROPICAL REMINISCENCES. 



Ti) be secludcii within a boiler, ham- 

 mering plugs into a leaky tube, is some- 

 thing like filling back teeth for a hippo- 

 potamus. Tommy only had about six 

 inches to swing his hammer, and, being 

 attired something like a Cuban roust- 

 about before Gen. Wood's sumptuary 

 law went into force, ho was not soothed 

 by an application of hot candle grease 

 shed over him by the fireman in a too 

 enthusiastic effort to light up the interior 

 of the boiler. 



Wlien he finally emerged, very wet and 

 rusty, uttering unseemly but appropriate 

 remarks. Jaggs observed mildly that a 

 man who could only express his feelings 

 in one language, and that Whitechapel, 

 must feel a bit cramped in the florist 

 business. "Though I did once know an 

 indigo man," he continued reminiscently, 

 that evening, "leastways he got mixed 

 up a bit in the Zanzibar slave trade, as 

 used to swear most shockingly in thirteen 

 languages, but he never used nothink but 

 English when he felt emphatic. Seems 

 like it was the only genuine." 



Davy gave an indignant snort and 

 turned his attention to a much-worn man- 

 ual of botanj' which dwelt perpetually 

 in the baggy pocket of his working coat. 

 "Zanzibar," he said, in a tone of wither- 

 ing scorn. "No doubt ye went there as 

 a missionary." 



"Xot exactly," said Jaggs; "more like 

 an advance agent. Not as it was Zanzi- 

 bar I started out for; I was aiming for 

 Singapore, only I changed off." 



"Like that chap from Texa.s as got ap- 

 pointed United States consul at Cay- 

 enne," said Tommy. "He couldn't find 

 Cayenne on the map, nor nowheres else, 

 except in a pepper box, so he started run- 

 ning the consul shop at Curacoa; he said 

 that was hot stuff all right and he reck- 

 oned it was near enough." 



"Speakin' o' missionaries," said Jaggs, 

 "reminds me o' one singular incident as 

 happened on that trip. We'd a mission- 

 ary on board— a nice chap, but terrible 

 short sighted. Well, one evenin' he was 

 strollin' along casually, and afore any- 



one could stop him he walks right over- 

 board! The water was swarmin' with 

 sharks, and o' course that there unfortu- 

 nate sky pilot was swallowed like an 

 oyster, prayer book and all! Well, the 

 next day was Sunday, and all day a big 

 shark kept swimmin' 'round the ship — 

 seemed like he had somethink on his 

 mind. By and by all hands was piped to 

 church, and as soon as ever he hear the 

 first hymn that there shark lay on top 

 o' the water, lookin' as pious as you ever 

 see a shark look. He shook his head once 

 or twice when the old man was tryin' to 

 put up a sermon, but when we sing an- 

 other hymn he lay there on top o' the 

 water keepin' time with his tail, and he 

 fairly smiled at the last amen! It shows 

 as even sharks is open to elevatin' intiu- 

 enees, and I believe if they was fed reg'- 

 iar on missionaries they'd soon be as mild 

 and peaceable as a commission florist." 



"It shows," remarked Tommy, thought- 

 fully, "as even a shark can't keep a good 

 man down." 



There was a lengthy but unquiet 

 pause. Patches, the fox terrier who be- 

 longed to the boss' daughter when he was 

 good and to the greenhouses when he was 

 not (which was about eight days a 

 week), was protesting vociferously 

 against the expansionist policy of the 

 parrot, who had grabbed a favorite and 

 well-ripened bone. Polly tucked the bone 

 away on a rafter, and, looking down at 

 the excited Patches, remarked, "Nice 

 •^cggTj" in a patronizing tone. Patches 

 relieved his feelings by making a rush at 

 the greenhouse cat, and it was several 

 minutes before peace and quiet were re- 

 stored by banishing the injured terrier. 

 "Did you read about that fellow in 

 Chicago that was raising mushrooms on 

 loaves of stale rye bread?" asked the 

 fireman, looking up from his paper. "I 

 reckon that ought to have been Jaggs." 

 "It's a wonder," observed Jaggs, 

 thoughtfully, "that one o' these inventive 

 chaps hasn't started mushroom spawn in 

 a pickle factory and raised bottle catsup. 

 When there's such a heap o' things hap- 

 penin' every day, it does seem to me as 



them newspaper 3'arns is a waste o' the 

 raw material. Talkin' about mushrooms 

 reminds me o' somethink as 'appened to 

 me once — not as it's anythink out o' the 

 way. I reckon you remember me tellin' 

 you somethink about Celebes that time 

 1 was botauizin' there?" 



"That time you run against an orchid 

 with hose attachment, wasn't it?" in- 

 quired the fireman. 



"That's so — Hydrophyllus Jaggsii, it 

 orter been named," responded the dis- 

 coverer, modestly; "only a deservin' chap 

 never does get his rights, or them botanic 

 gardens would have to put up an annex 

 to hold the rare specimens as was named 

 after James Algernon Jaggs. Well, as 

 I was sayin', I was huntin' orchids in the 

 Celebes — and, by the way, there was a 

 whole push o' cannibals as wanted me to 

 stay with 'em and be king, only I didn't 

 fancy the job. Well, them bloomin' can- 

 nibals wasn't pleased — seemed to think as 

 I hadn't no right to decline the nomina- 

 tion, and did their little best to make 

 me change my mind; I've got some o' 

 the marks yet. Me and Johnson thought 

 as it might save hard feelin's if we lit out 

 unbeknown, without wishin' 'em good- 

 bye ; we thought they was gettin a bit too 

 pressin' when they trussed us up with coir 

 rope and bamboo. Still, we may have 

 misunderstood 'em ; perhaps it was only 

 their way o' tellin' us as they'd like to get 

 better acquainted." 



"I s'pose tyin' it down is the best 

 way to get acquainted with anythink 

 slippery." observed Tommy, thoughtfull.y. 

 "Who was Johnson — another scientific 

 chap?" 



"He'd been workin' in Java for some 

 oil company, locatin' petroleum — said his 

 'ome was somewheres in Nova Scotia, but 

 I reckon he 'ain't 'ad a reg'lar postof- 

 fice address for ten years. Used to 'andle 

 dynamite like it was Mrs. Winslow's 

 soothin' syrup — it was precious handy to 

 blow snags out o' the river on our way 

 up the stream, but I always tell Johnson 

 as that there stuff 'ud give us a surprise 

 some day, and it did. As I was sayin', 

 our coffee-colored friends put us in cold 

 storage while they started in to loot the 

 boats. I don't mind ownin' as I felt a 

 bit pale; you see, there's no pleasure in 

 seein' the cook hustle around to get din- 

 ner ready when a chap knows he's to 

 hare a star part in the bill o' fare. I 

 always felt that if any o' them bloomin' 

 savages tries to eat me, I'd jolly well 

 disagree with 'em both before and after 

 takin'. 



"Well, them savages started to pick 

 out a few relishes to serve on the side. 

 I don't know just what 'appened, but I 

 see a few acres o' tropical landscape 

 sailin' through the air along o' Bronx 

 Park Zoo, and it come unto my mind, as 

 they was tryin' to open Johnson's dyna- 

 mite cartridges with a can opener. When 

 we came to, me and Johnson was a mile 

 or two down the river. Some o' the na- 

 tive population was joining us, too, but 

 they was very miscellaneous; in fact, 

 they was chiefly souvenirs." 



"And what became o' the cannibals?" 

 asked the fireman with deep interest. 



"Well, Johnny, it struck me as they 

 was up in the air," returned Jaggs, 

 thoughtfully. "Fact is, me and Johnson 

 didn't go back to inquire; he was shy a 

 couple o' fingers, and a few o' my ribs 

 didn't seem to be in their usual latitude, 

 but we both thought we'd just as soon 

 be somewhere else, and we hiked along 

 to the coast. Poor Johnson, he said as 



