496 POPULAR SCIENCE MONTHLY. 



Iliglibinders in Chinatown, you can not have failed to have recog- 

 nized that feminism and Orientalism are very similar. To be or 

 not to be; to be alive or to be dead; to be drunk or to be sober — 

 'tis all the same for the people; 'tis Nirvana. You wish to vul- 

 garize jSTeminism. What follows your success? Immediately 

 every State will make it an obligatory study in the public schools, 

 and when, in the distant future, we meet the Chinamen face to 

 face, we will be ready to exterminate them or be exterminated by 

 them; for it is an axiom of sociology, which it is to be hoped Mr. 

 Giddings will see the value of and will in the next edition of his 

 Social Euclid make number one, that when two societies completely 

 differing in origin, history, manners, institutions, and laws come 

 together they start in the more quickly to cut each other's throats 

 when they have a common idea in which they can locate a differ- 

 ence, and hence find a logical excuse to begin. 



I would have preferred that our president had taken up this 

 unpleasant task of criticising your mischievous efforts to vulgarize 

 our beautiful science, which, like the true religion of the Egyptians, 

 should be retained sub rosa in the temples; but she, as you your- 

 seK have said, does not like controversial publicity, and has often 

 remarked that our science is like the mushroom, for, though it is 

 the child of darkness and Byzantian filth, it is eminently adapted 

 to be retained by weak stomachs, wliile for others it may be nause- 

 ating. I am, sir, very respectfully, 



Anaohaesis Pangloss, M. Plane. 



Though religiously refraining from introducing my own per- 

 sonality in the foregoing, it being a cardinal point in our science that 

 it is good form to appear modest — videri quam esse, as was said of 

 Cato — I am, nevertheless, obliged to observe that I am not at all 

 in any way related to the Dr. Pangloss, LL. D., A. S. S., mentioned 

 in the play of the Heir at Law, nor yet, though perhaps more spir- 

 itually akin, to that other Dr. Pangloss — Dr. Leibnitz Pangloss, 

 the tutor of Candide mentioned by the late Monsieur Voltaire of 

 happy memory. Dr. L. Pangloss, a fine old fellow at bottom, was 

 engaged in showing how, in the best possible words, a cause always 

 precedes its effect; for instance. Monsieur the Baron Thunder den 

 Trockendorf has a nose, argues he — it will carry spectacles, hence 

 the nose was created for spectacles, and spectacles are created. It 

 is plain that Dr. L. Pangloss was a scientist. Now, I am a sociolo- 

 gist, and it is the hope of my life to fill the chair of Monadology in 

 the new American university, where I intend to show that while 

 the rich are becoming richer the poor will become richer than the 

 rich in contemj)lating how much more satisfaction the rich get out 



