346 



THE FRUITS IN CONVENTION. 



and leaning about idly, as if they took but 

 little interest in the proceedings. The only 

 sour faces in the crowd were those of a 

 knot of Morello Cherries and Dutch Cur- 

 rants, who took every occasion to hiss any 

 speaker not in favor. 



We said this was a convention of fruits ; 

 but we ought also to add that the fruits 

 looked extremely like human beings. On 

 remarking this to our guide, he quietly 

 said, — "of course, you know you see them 

 now in their spiritual forms. If you half 

 close your eyes, you will find you recog- 

 nize them all in their every-day, familiar 

 shapes." And so indeed we did, and were 

 shaking hands warmly with our old neigh- 

 bors and friends, — the Beurr's and Pippins 

 and Pearmains, when we were interrupted 

 by the speaker, calling the meeting to or- 

 der. 



The Speaker (on giving him the blink,) 

 we found to be a fine large specimen of 

 the Boston Russet, with a dignified expres- 

 sion, and a certain bland air of one accus- 

 tomed to preside. He returned thanks very 

 handsomely to the convention for the honor 

 jf the chair ; assuring them that having 

 been bred in the land of steady habits, he 

 would do all in his power to maintain order 

 and expedite the business of the convention. 

 We noticed, as he sat down, that there 

 •vere vice-presidents from every state, — 

 nany of them old and well known fruits ; 

 tnd that the Le Clerc Pear and an Honest 

 : >hn Peach were the secretaries ; and a 

 1 air of very astringent looking fellows — one 

 Crab Apple, and the other a Choke Pear — 

 ware sergeants-at-arms, or door-keepers. 

 '£'. eir duties seemed to be chiefly that of 

 1 -venting some brambles from clambering 

 ) the walls and looking in the windows, 

 aid a knot of saucy looking blackamoors, 

 . •;om we discovered to be only Black Cur- 

 . .its, from crowding up the lobbies; the 



latter in particular, being in bad odour with 

 many of the members. 



There was a little stir on the left, and a 

 solid, substantial, well-to-do pei-sonage rose, 

 who we recognised immediately as the 

 Newtown Pippin. He had the air of a man 

 about sixty ; but there was a look of sound 

 health about him which made you feel 

 sure of his hundreth year. 



The Newtown Pippin said it was need- 

 less for him to remark that this was no 

 common meeting. The members were all 

 aware that no ordinary motives had called 

 together this great convention of fruits. 

 He was proud and happy to welcome so 

 many natives and naturalized citizens,- — all 

 bearing evidence of having taken kindly to 

 the soil of this great and happy country. 

 Every one present knows, the world begins 

 to know, he remarked, that North America 

 is the greatest of fruit-growing countries, 

 (hear, hear,) that the United States was 

 fast becoming the favored land of Pomona, 

 who, indeed, was always rather republican 

 in her taste, and hated, above all things, 

 the fashion in aristocratic countries of tying 

 her up to walls, and confining her under 

 glass. He preferred the open air, and the 

 free breath of orchards. 



But, he said, it was necessary to come 

 to business. This convention had met 

 to discuss the propriety and necessity of 

 passing an alien law, by which all foreign- 

 ers, on settling in this country, should be 

 obliged to drop their foreign names, or, ra- 

 ther, have them translated into plain Eng- 

 lish. The cultivators of fruit were, take 

 them altogether, a body of plain, honest 

 countrymen, who, however they might relish 

 foreign fruits, did not get on Avell with 

 foreign names. They found them to stick 

 in their throats to such a degree that they 

 could not make good bargains over sxich 

 gibberish. The question to be brought before 



