EDITORIAL 



Tt;- 



EDITORIAL 



FOR THOSE WITH GOOD APPETITES. 

 If You Never Eat Don't Read This Department This Month. 



Apple Turnovers Lost. 



This lament for another loss is dedi- 

 cated to the "Literary Digest" that thus 

 far has copied all my plaintive moanings 

 about the things that the human race 

 has lost, especially the loss of potato seed 

 and hominy. That these lost treasures 

 are really lost is proved by the fact that 

 even the large circulation of The 

 Guide to Nature combined with 

 that of the "Literary Digest" has failed 

 thus far to bring any potato balls to light 

 except those that are decidedly vestigial, 

 and none with seeds that I have thus far 

 been able to germinate. 



The correspondence in regard to honi- 

 any still goes merrily on and several 

 stenographers are rattling away at their 

 typewriters and telling innumerable cor- 

 respondents that we are not searching 

 for lye hulled corn but for hominy. We 

 have had all sorts of grits, various things 

 that look like Japanese rice, some like 

 sheep's teeth, some like mush in milk 

 and still others in all sorts of concoctions. 

 But thus far, "Literary Digest," in spite 

 of your jocose remark about "this start- 

 ling revelation, etc., let it be known to 

 you and others that not one ounce of real 

 hominy has materialized at this office. I 

 believe it to be a product completely lost, 

 and lamented by man. Where is the 

 gristmill that will make the old-fashioned 

 hominy? There is a fortune in it for 

 some one and I offer the suggestion with- 

 out trade-mark, patent right, copyright 

 or any mental reservation. 



While speaking of the lost things, let 

 me ask where is the old fellow who does 

 not remember the delicious apple turn- 

 overs of his boyhood, especially if he is 

 a New Englander ? Now wait a moment. 

 Stop right where you are. Do not de- 

 luge us with letters telling that when you 

 make apple pies, you still take the apple 

 that is left over, put it in a piece of crust 

 and bake it. Do not tell us how you 



stew apples and put them in dumplings. 

 That sort of dumpling business is pot 

 apple pie and not an apple turnover, so- 

 called because it really was a turnover. 

 If all New Englanders had lived by the 

 seashore I am sure they would have called 

 it an apple porpoise because the move- 

 ments of an apple turnover, when drop- 

 ped into boiling fat, are not unlike those 

 of a porpoise rolling in the sea. How 

 they were made so that the edges did not 

 split open, I do not know. It is a lost 

 art. Like the Damascus swords which, 

 history tells us, could be bent from tip to 

 handle without breaking, these apple 

 turnovers were bent from edge to edge 

 and the edges would stick. Oh, the de- 

 licious anticipations as they tumbled and 

 rolled and turned over in that boiling fat ! 



Is there anything that brings more 

 clearly to mind the domestic scenes in 

 that New England kitchen than the vision 

 of Grandma standing there, right hand 

 poised in mid-air as if she were about 

 to harpoon a porpoise, left hand on her 

 hip, with calm complacency in her atti- 

 tude that said, "I can make the most de- 

 licious mingling^ of apple and wheat that 

 ever was made." 



Apple turnovers as they disappeared, 

 passed through a process of reversion. 

 For a time, they were known in some 

 New England restaurants, but the apple 

 stuffing was crude, the crust was crude 

 'tud the edges seemed to have been turned 

 ever and riveted down. No one would 

 want to eat the edges of these degen- 

 erate turnovers. 



So I set on the shelf the memory of 

 those delicious apple turnovers in com- 

 pany with potato seed, hominv and milk, 

 fried hominy, hominy pie, the real old 

 pot apple Die, and — now go slow — huckle- 

 berry hollow! But that is another 

 storv. When my correspondents shall 

 have showered me with letters and shall 

 in vain try to prove that apple turnovers 



