THE GREAT DISCOVERY IN VEGETATION. 



for nothing at all, in that manner. To be sure, it would, perhaps, benefit mankind 

 all the more, but that is only half the question. " If you think the moon is made of 

 green cheese," said our curly philosopher to his friends, " you are greatly mistaken. 

 I am well satisfied, for my part, that that is only a vulgar error. If it had been, loilN 

 Bull would have eaten it up for lunch a long time ago." 



So our philosopher went about among his fellow dogs, far and near, and spent most 

 of his little patrimony in waiting on distinguished mastiffs, Newfoundlands, and curs 

 of high degree. He Went, also, to ail conventions or public assemblies, where wise ter- 

 riers were in the habit of putting their heads together for the public good. Wherev- 

 er he went, you would see him holding some poor victim by the button, expounding 

 his great secret, and showing how the progress, yes, and the very existence of dogs, 

 depended upon the knowledge of his secret — since it would really explain in a moment 

 everything that had been dark since the days when their great-grandfathers were kept 

 from drowning in the ark. Only let the congress of grey-hounds agree to pay him a 

 million of money, and he would make known principles that would make the distem- 

 per cease, and all the other ills that dog-flesh is heir to, fade clean out of memory. 



Some of the big dogs to whom he told his secret, (always, remember, in the strict- 

 est confidence,) shook their heads, and looked wise ; others, to get rid of his endless 

 lectures, gave him a certificate, saying that Solomon was wrong when he said there 

 was nothing new under the sun ; and all agreed that there was no denying that there 

 is something in it, though they could not exactly say it was a new discovery. 



Finally, after a long time spent in lobbying, and after wise talks with all the mem- 

 bers that would listen to him, yes, and after exhibiting to every dog that had an hour 

 to give him, his collection of dogs' bones that had died solely because of the lamenta- 

 ble ignorance of his secret in dog-dom, he found a committee that took hold of his doc- 

 trine in good earnest — quite determined to do justice to him, and vote him a million 

 if he deserved it, but, nevertheless, quite determined not to be humbugged by any 

 false doggerel, however potent it might have been to terriers less experienced in this 

 current commodity of many modern philosophers. 



It was a long story, that the committee were obliged to hear, and there were plenty 

 of hard words thrown in to puzzle terriers who might not have had a scientific education 

 in their youth. But the dogs on the committee were not to be puzzled ; they seized 

 hold of the fundamental principle of the philosophic spaniel, tossed it, and worried it, 

 and shook it, till it stood out, at last, quite a simple truth, (how beautiful is deep phi- 

 losophy,) and it was this — 



The great secret of 'perfect instinct in clogs, is to keep their noses cool. 



Of course, the majority of the committee were startled and delighted with the no- 

 velty and grandeur of the discovery. There were, to be sure, a few who had the fool- 

 hardiness to remark, that the thing was not new, and had been acted upon, time 

 out of mind, in all good kennels. But the philosopher soon put down such nonsense, 

 by observing that the fact might, perchance, have been known to a few, but who, be- 

 him, had ever shown the principle of the thing? 



And now, we should lilie to see that cur who shall dare to say the canine ph 



