HARDWOOD RECORD 



Pert, Pertinent and Impertinent. 



The Star. 

 Twinkle, twinkle, little star. 

 How I wonder what you are. 

 At the footlights bright and gay. 

 Having all your own sweet way. 



How I wonder if the paint 

 On your cheeks will e'er grow fail 

 It your slippers, trim and neat. 

 Will look flabby on your feet. 



How I wonder if that smile. 

 Which you use men to beguile. 

 Turns into an ugly sneer 



now 1 wonder u your gems. 

 From your crown to fluffy hems, 

 Are but glass beads, cent apiece, 

 Borrowed on a broker's lease. 



How I wonder if you feel, 

 After all, thi^t life is real; 

 If you say, when you are free: 

 ••Oh. what fools these mortals b 



Twinkle, twinkle, little star. 

 While your assets are on par; 

 Soon you'll find some other orb 

 AU your homage will absoi-b. 



Hopeful Situation. 



boon you'll find your sweetest self 

 Snugly laid upon the shelf. 

 Make your hay while eyes are bright: 

 Twinkle, twinkle, all the night. 



True Living. 



itill in mutual sufferance lies 

 The secret of true living; 



The 



mg. 



A Query. 



.limo. they say, was "ox-eyed" : 

 Now, don't you think it true. 



Were she a dame of these times. 

 She'd be peroxide, too? 



Now if the Political Came can be speedily ended, and the country gets down to business it will be a good thing. 



True Manhood. 



The hoirf is late, and I must leave the club; 



Alone a woman waits for me at home; 

 Her anxious, care--worn face — ah, there's the 

 rub! — 



Will not permit me longer, boys, to roam. 



You bachelors may laugh and cry, "Don't go!" 

 Am I a brute? True manhood do I lack? 



■Without a maid what can a woman do 

 Whose waist is buttoned down the back ? 



—New Tork Times. 



To the Good I May Do. 



"I expect to pass through this world but 

 once; any good thing, therefore, that I can 

 do, or any kindness I can show, to any fellow 

 human being, let me do it now. Let me not 

 defer or neglect it, for I shall not pass this 

 way again."— Dr. Bcdloe. 



There Are Others. 



B. is for Bounder blas6 



Who likes to appear quite au fait; 



He purses his lips 



As his Rhine wine he sips, 



Tho' he doesn't know Hock from Tokay. 



To Courage to 'Wed. 



Here is to the girl 



With courage to -wed. 

 May she be happy 



Until she is dead. 

 Then to the place up above let her go. 

 For she will know in the end, what's down 

 below. — Jennie Partlow. 



Which? 



A man who can live without work, go where 

 it he likes must be 

 tramp. 



To My Sweetheart. 



"Before man parted for this earthly strand. 

 While yet upon the verge of Heaven he 

 stood, 

 God gave a heap of letters in his hand 

 .^nd bade him make with them what word 

 he could. 

 Had I been there on that red-letter day. 

 And God given me an alphabet to try. 

 Two dozen letters I'd have thrown away 

 And spelled "life's happiness" with "U" 

 and "I." 



To My Friend. 



"God never loved me in so sweet a way be- 

 fore, 

 Tis He alone who can such blessings send, 

 .\nd when his love would new expression find. 

 He brought thee to me and He said. 

 "Behold a Friend;" 



