THE HARD \V OOD RECORD. 



13 



The Mstn About Tow^n. 



AN IMPORTANT DISCOVERY. 



In hot weutlier 1 always si-eiu to get 

 rattled and sort of lose my Krip on tUing.s. 

 My vitality seems to run low at that time 

 of the year and I become uneasy about 

 everything. You see we all .ire really in 

 a very precarious position when you come 

 to think about it. Of coin-se if a man is 

 an ignorant man and believes that the 

 earth is flat and that the sun revolves 

 around it and that the Almighty is sitting 

 up nights studying how he may advance 

 his (the man'si interests, he may slip 

 tlirough the hot season- without much 

 worry. 



.My trouble comes largely. I believe, from 

 the fact tliat I know too much. And that's 

 another thing that, worries me. If a man 

 is ignorant he can educate himself; but 

 once he is too highly educated he is be- 

 yond repair. There is nothing he can do 

 to uueducate himself. He is educated and 

 that is all there is to it. He"s just got to 

 grin and bear it. He can go out and ge't 

 drunk and forget it for awhile. Ijut he 

 must get sober .sooner or later and then 

 it all comes back to him and makes him 

 miserable. 



They are carrying on a discussion in the 

 Chicago University, or were a short time 

 ago. as to whether it is not a mistake to 

 give a man very much education. One of 

 the professors delivered a lecture, so the 

 papers say, in which he took the ground 

 that the comparatively ignorant man is 

 happier than the highly educated man. 

 And when you come to follow his logic 

 it seems reasonable. 



For instance, he states that the man 

 who is highly educated in music can get 

 enjoyment out of nothing but the finest 

 kind of music — which he rarely ever has 

 an opportunity to hear. Ragtime music 

 and such like is not only not pleasing to 

 him. but it really gives him acute dis- 

 pleasure to listen to it. All kinds of music 

 sound alike to the ignorant man. however, 

 and he can even get enjoyment from listen- 

 ing to a hand organ. 



Or, again, he says, the man with the 

 highly educated palate cannot enjoy coarse 

 and common food, such as corn beef and 

 cabbage, tripe and onions, and so on, but 

 must have something strictly first class. 

 And if he happens to be poor he doesn't 

 get an enjoyable meal once a year. The 

 man of uneducated t>alate. however, can 

 oat and enjoy everything. All is grist 

 that comes to his mill and three times a 

 day he may have a feast on anything 

 from turnips to terrapin. 



And again, he says, the man with the 

 highly educated sense of proportion, of 

 color, perspective, etc.. which goes to make 

 the i)ainter or sculidor; what of him'/ Has 

 he added to his chance of liappiiiess by 



BY C. D. STR.ODE. 



his cilture'.- The professor thinks not. 

 -Most of the i)ainting. architectiu'e, etc.. of 

 the world grates on him. But few things 

 h.ive that perfectly blending harmony of 

 color and outline which can alone give him 

 l)leasure. Even the features of his friends 

 and relatives give him pain iK-cause of 

 their lack of beaut.v. 



F.ut the highly educated sense which is 

 most oft<'ii outraged in this coarse and 

 somewli.it vulgar world is the sense of 

 smell. We will not particularize in this 

 matter, however. 



In fact, the professor concludes that to 

 the highly educated man but few things 

 bring iileasure. Either they don't look 

 right, (jr taste right, or sound right, or 

 siiM'll right. To such a man perfect en- 

 joyment is practically impossible. He 

 may. perchance, once in a long while, 

 bear, for instance, a perfect piece of music; 

 but the chances are that the musician 

 producing it offends the sight of the highly 

 cultured individual we have under discus- 

 sion. Or if there is nothing in the occa- 

 sion to offend the sight or hearing of the 

 highly cultured soul — if through an excess 

 of good fortune everything is beautiful and 

 harmonious, the chances are that he will 

 find that one of his neighbors smells of 

 sweat or beer or onions or something of 

 that kind. 



So the professor argues that the highly 

 educated man has less chance of enjoy- 

 ment than the coarse and common man 

 who enjoys hearing any kind of music, 

 eating any kind of food, drinking ahjf 

 kind of liciuor. looking at an.v kind of a 

 picture or smelling most any kind of a 

 smell. 



.\nd to a certain e.\tent I believe the 

 lirofessor is right. .V man may have too 

 much culture for his own good. The le.ss 

 cultured man may be the happier, but the 

 trouble is that he doesn't know how well 

 off he is. He believes that what he immmIs 

 to make him still happier is more culture, 

 more education, and he keeps at it mil 11 

 the first thing he knows he knows too 

 nnich and can't forget an.v part of it. 



It is but little trouble for a man to for- 

 get tli.at whi<-h he wishes to rememlier, but 

 it is very hard to forget that which he 

 wishes to forget. 



Did .vou ever tr.v hard to forget a thing'? 

 .\iid isn't it true that the more you tried 

 to forget it the more you rememberiHl it'/ 



Xow, if I could forget a lot of my knowl- 

 edge I'd be better off. A little thing will 

 please a fool and the further a man ad- 

 vances in knowledge the more ditHcult he 

 is to please, and he may finally reach a 

 jioint where nothing at all gives him 

 pleasure. I do not sa.v that 1 have reached 

 such a point as that, but somehow I don't 

 seem to enjoy myself as I'd like to. I 

 get along fairly well during the cool and 



bracing months of the year, but during the 

 hot weather I become oppressed with a 

 vague but heavy sense of insecurity, lone- 

 someness and weakness, and I cannot but 

 envy the cheerful man who goes about in- 

 teresting himself in his little trivial affairs, 

 and taking no responsibility upon himself 

 concerning the w<'ll';ire of the universe. 



The discovery of radimn was a positive 

 shock to me. I h.-xl a theory of matter 

 all figured out in a comfortable and posi- 

 tive maimer, and upon this theory I had 

 accounted for the universe and had. as 

 nearly as possible, dismissed the matter 

 from my mind. 1 cannot endure to be 

 surrounded by that which I cannot under- 

 stand, and I had everything pretty well 

 accounted for. and here comes the dis- 

 covery of this remarkable substance which 

 overthrows all my carefully constructed 

 theories completely, and leaves me all at 

 sea again. And right at the Ijeginning of 

 this desperately hot weather, too. 



And here we scientific men are all at 

 sea again without chart or compass. 

 Ever.vthing knocked into a cocked hat and 

 the thermometer !).5 in the shade. I tell 

 you that the man who believes the worlH 

 is flat and is resting on a rock is to be 

 envied. 



For it seems that through the extraor- 

 dinary properties of radium we learu that 

 the atom, which to us has represented 

 matter reduced to its lowest terms — that 

 the atom is not an indivisible and inde- 

 structible whole, hut is, in fact, a solar 

 system within itself, in which myriads of 

 finitesimal planets revolve around an in- 

 finitesimal sun; and it is bj- no means un- 

 reasonable to supi)ose that those little 

 planets are inhabited by infinitesimal crea- 

 tures who ha\-e labor troubles and trusts 

 to contend with and who go about grum- 

 bling because of the hot weather. 



.\nd worse still, there is reason to be- 

 lieve tliat our solar system consists merely 

 of the component jiarts of some atom, in 

 some gig.intic scheme of construction, 

 which in connection with other atoms 

 makes up. maybe, a bit of dirt under some 

 giant's thumbnail. 



The Atomic Theory is gone: the Law of 

 (iravitation is toppling; and the whole 

 superstructiu-e of theory built up by the 

 scientists to account for things is coming 

 down with a run. 



AikI the thermometer is '.).") in the shade. 



And the man who believes the earth is 

 flat and rests on a rock goes tramping 

 aroiiiid as cheerful as you please. 



J; * * 



I also (ind that I am weakening in 

 m.v supi)ort of another of my favorite 

 theories. 1 hope and believe, however, 

 tlijit this is a Ii'm|iorary condition, duo 



