■^;M>;amv5t^;ta>cj?ti>sojtVii^ut>5feTOt wit^^ 



Pert, Pertinent and Impertinent 



A LOGICAL APPREHENSION 



A Million More 



Patient — "You're a fraud ! You guaranteed 

 your medicine to cure after everything else 

 failed, and " 



Medicine Man — "Well, probably you haven't 

 tried everything else." 



Not Wet Enough 



Lambert Caspers, a Chicago attorney, told this 

 story at a recent Y. M. C. A. banquet : 



A Kansas farmer, a Dane, applied for natur- 

 alization papers. The judge asked him : 



"Are jou satisfied with the general conditions 

 of the country';" 



"Yas," drawled the Dane. 



"Does the stovernment suit you';" queried the 

 Judge. 



"Yas, yas ; only I would like to see more 

 rain," replied the farmer. — Judye. 



The Proper Head 



Husband (studying his wife's accounts) — 

 "There are several items you haven't entered 

 here. Doing up the furniture, your hairdresser, 

 dentist, trip to the sea, for instance." 



Wife — "Oh, those all come under the head 

 of 'repairs.' " — FUcgende Blatter. 



Getting Her on Record 



"Am I the only man you ever loved?" he 

 asked. 



"Y'es." she sighed. 



"There is no rich man wliurn .\i>ii ever cared 

 to marry';" he persisted. 



"No rich man 1 wDUld raarry," she said. 



"<Jr no rich man you might marry If you 

 chose ';" 



"Xo. but why do you ask these questions?" 



"I just want to get you ou record before our 

 wedding so that afterward you won't be forever 

 pointing out wealthy men to me as samples of 

 what you might have bad." — Detroit Free Press. 



—19— 



