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Pert, Pertinent and Impertinent 



The Forest Fires 



Is this the Forest I'rimeval? — that leiiolent, hal- 

 lowed cathedral 



Lifted by Nature to God, the solace and joy of 

 His creatures. 



Health-giving, tranquil and strong, the source 

 of heneficent waters. 



Wooing the quickening rains, guarding the boun- 

 tiful wheat-lands? 



This was the Forest Primeval : — this roaring, 

 devouring furnace 



Billowed and sheeted with flame, a pitiless, rag- 

 ing inferno. 



See '. how the sentinel pines go down, while the 

 red-hearted cyclone 



Greedily sweeps on the settlements, whirling in 

 panic before it 



Caribou, timber-wolves, deer, snorting and plung- 

 ing and bounding 



Mingled with cattle and men, poured through 

 the streets, where the houses 



Melt in the fury ! — And now, nothing remains 

 but the timbers 



Desolate, blackened and charred, heaped over 

 smoldering bodies. 



There let the tire-weed grow, dropping memorial 

 blossoms. 



Only a camp-flre brand, — only a spark from an 



engine. 

 One of the myriads blown daily and nightly at 



random — 

 Such was the procreant seed. Come, let us 



thresh out the harvest. 



— Arthur Guitcrman. 



In the Carpenter Shop 



"Life's a hard grind," said the emery wheel. 



"It's a perfect bore," returned the auger. 



"It means nothing but hard knocks for me," 

 sighed the nail. 



"You haven't as much to go through as I 

 have," put in the saw. 



"I can barely scrape along," complained the 

 plane. 



"And I am constantly being set upon," 

 added the bench. 



"Let's strike," said the hammer. 



"Cut it out," cried the chisel, "here comes 

 the boss." 



And all was silence. 



— Scissors Beaudin. 



But a practical joke isn't funny when the 

 reaction sets in. 



DID IT EVER OCCUR TO YOU? 



From the testimony brought out at the recent weight hearings in Boston, it would seem that this is not an uncommon method 



of "official" weighing. 



Generosity 



A large, husky negro and a small Frenchman 

 were sawing a large piece of timber for the 

 Boston subway with a heavy crosscut saw. each 

 in turn pulling it back and forth. A pugilistic 

 Irishman stopped to watch the operation. After 

 a few moments he strolled up to the negro and 

 dealt him a blow, saying : 



"Give the saw to the little fellow if he wants 

 It." — Harper's. 



Art Is Short 



Artist— "Only $1.50 ! Why, the frame cost 

 three times that I" 



The Broker — "Veil, dot Is all right, my frendt. 

 Ve only loans on der vrame." — Puck. 



Absent-Mtnded 



Waiter — "Do you mind if I put your bag out 

 of the way. sir? The people coming in are 

 falling over it." 



Diner — "Tou leave it where it is. If nobody 

 falls over it I shall forget it's there." — Fliegende 

 Blatter. 



The Keason 



Benevolent Individual — "Tes, sir : when a man 

 makes a little extra money his first duty is to 

 give his wife a present of a handsome suit." 



Ordinary Individual — "You are a philosopher, 

 I presume?" 



"No ; I am a ladies' tailor." 



Premeditated Bliss 



"If by any chance I have to stay late at the 

 ofBce, I'll send you a note, dearie," he thought- 

 fully said as he left in the morning. 



"Don't worry, dear," she replied ; "I've al- 

 ready found it in your coat pocket !" — Exchange. 



Military 



"Vat makes der corn stalk so?" 



"Dot is because its family is all composed of 

 kernels." 



Heine — "Und how dit you say you becamed 

 such a wonderfud orator?" 



Louey— "Mein poy, I began by addressing en- 

 velopes." 



—23— 



