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Peru Pertinent and Impertinent 



The test of a man is the Sght he makes, 



The grit that he daily shows. 

 The way he stands on his feet and takes 



Fate's numerous bumps and blows. 

 A, coward can smile when there's naught to fear. 



When nothing his progress bars. 

 But it takes a man to stand up and cheer 



While some other fellow stars. 



It isn't victory, after all. 



But the fight that a brother makes. 



The Test of a Man 

 The man who, driven against the wall. 



Still stands up erect and takes 

 The blows of fate with his head held high. 



Bleeding and bruised and pale, 

 Is the man who'll win in the by-and-by. 



For he isn't afraid to fail. 



It's the bumps you get and the jolts you get 

 And the shocks that your courage stands, 



The hours of sorrow and vain regret. 

 The prize that escapes your hands. 



HARDWOODS 



That test your mettle and prove your worth. 



It isn't the blows you deal. 

 But the blows you take on the good old earth 



That show if your stud' is real. 



Nowadays 



Old Opportunity mopped his brow, 



And hung around a spell. 

 "Xo use," he grumbled." of knocking now — 



"I've got to ring the bell '." 



One Better 

 A western buyer is inordinately proud of the 

 fact that one of his ancestors affixed his signa- 

 ture with many a curve and flourish. The sales- 

 man's patience becoming exhausted in waiting 

 for the buyer to recognize him, te finally ob- 

 served : 



"You have a fine signature, Mr. So-and-So." 

 "\'cs," admitted the buyer. "I should have. 

 One of my forefathers signet! the deciaratiou of 

 Independence." 



The Way the Books Balance 



"So?" said the caller, with rising inflection. 

 And then he added : 



"Veil, you ain'd got netting on mc. One of 

 my forefathers signed the ten commandments." 



No Assistance Needed 

 As the train neared the city, the colored porter 



approached the jovial-faced gentleman, saying, 



with a smile : 



"Shall Ah brush yo' off, sah?" 



"No." he replied; "I prefer to get off in the 



usual manner. "—PHiioefoii Tiger. 



Things That 'Went Wrong 

 A flashily dressed man whose name may be 

 given as John Doe had just registered at a 

 hotel in a thriving young city in Kansas. 



"Is there any place here," he Inquired, ad- 

 dressing the hotel clerk in a low tone and 

 with a scarcely perceptible wink, "where they 

 sell wet groceries to thirsty travelers?" 



"Wet groceries?" said the clerk, with a be- 

 wildered look. "O. you mean tomato catsup, 

 canned soups, and such things as that. Yes, 

 sir, you can get them at any grocery store." 



—21— 



