y;)igMi^S!;x:>igim;j^^™^it>wi^yiB ^ 



Peru Pertinent and Impertinent 



Smile and the world sniiles with you ; 

 "Knock/* and you go it alone ; 

 For the cheerful grin 

 "Will let you in 

 Where the kicker is never known. 



Growl, and the way looks dreary ; 

 Laugh, and the path is bright ; 



For the welcome smile 



Brings sunshine, while 

 A frown shuts out the light. 



Hustle and Grin 



Sigh, and you "rake in" nothing. 



Work, and the prize is won : 

 For the nervy man 

 With backbone can 



By nothing be outdone. 



Hustle and fortune awaits you ; 



Shirk and defeat is sure ; 

 * For there's no chance 



Of deliverance 



For the chap who can't endure. 



Sing, and the world's harmonious, 

 Grumble, and things go wrong, 

 And all the time 

 You are out of rhyme 

 With the busy, bustling throng. 



Kick, and there's trouble brewing ; 

 Whistle, and life is gay, 



And the world's in tune 

 And the clouds all melt away. 

 Like a day in June, 



HELP! 



Is engineering science helpless in the face of these constantly recurring and appalling calamities? 



Equity 

 "After all, things are pretty evenly appor- 

 tioned in this world." 



"Eb-yah ! A strong minded woman generally 

 has a weak-minded husband." — Smart Bet. 

 He Supplied It 

 Wallie — "How fast the horse is runnin' )" 

 Teacher — "You forgot the 'g.' " 

 Wallie — "Gee ! How fast the horse is runnin' !" 

 — Brooklyn Life. 



Not Qualified 

 Gibbs — How are lobsters caught? 

 Bibbs — Don't ask me, I'm no chorus girl. — 

 Boston Transcript. 



Matrimonial 



Three Germans were sitting at luncheon ^ re- 

 cently and were overheard discussing the second 

 marriage of a mutual friend, when one of them 

 remarked : 



"I'll tell you That. A man That marries do 

 second time don't deserTe to have lost his first 

 vhife." 



Cheaper 



Brown — "I wish I belonged to a golf club." 



Jones — "I'ou don't need to. Just walk five 

 miles or so, and eTery twenty or thirty yards 

 hit the pavement a hard whack with your stick 

 and swear." 



Changed His Mind 



"I thought you said, tirouch, that you would 

 ncTer permit your wife to run an auto?" 



"So I did ; but she happened to hear me say 

 it." 



As It May Happen 



The kind-hearted old lady handed the beggar 

 a dime. 



"My man, how did you become so poor?" 

 she asked. "What brought you to this terrible 

 stage of poverty V" 



"The parcel post, mam," replied the beggar. 

 "You see. I used to be president of an ex- 

 press company." — Cincinnati Enquirer. 



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