HARD 'WOOD RECORD 



II 



Verts Vertinent and Impertinent. 



I hold in ray l:ai,iil a pirdiri". 



Thp face iit' a wmnaii fail-. 

 With eyes as bright as the no<,n sun's llglit 



And irlossy and wavy hair. 



A band sits on the i>erfeot brow 

 . The darlv waving loiiis to bind. 

 A wreath caiesses the lovely tresses 

 And through them is intertwined. 



His Only L o t e . 



But, ah ! 'tis a soulless picture ; 



Cold as a stone it seems — 

 A face of the dead, like one in his bed 



,\t midnight S'^e? in his droanis. 



Though cold it may be and cruel. 



Heartless and haughty and vain : 

 I love it no less, and tenderly press 



And liiss it again and again. 



I'air one. we must part forever : 



Oh. life will be dark to me: 

 I shall long and pine when that face of thine 



rar, far from my sight shall be. 



Good bye, dear 1 Ah. feel you not love. 



On thy cheek my tears so hot? 

 I'ray, don't think me fickle — it's only a nickel 



I'm going to drop in the slot I 



Early and Prompt. 



' ' Early settlers 



are those who pay 



promptly the first of 



each month. 



Why Should She? 



The average woman 

 takes little stock in 

 the wisdom of Solo- 

 mon; she has heard 

 that he had seven 

 hundred wives. 



Quite True. 



It takes more than 

 membership in a good 

 lumber association to 

 make some lumber- 

 men honest. 



Bight. 

 Any man talks too 

 freely when he does 

 not know thoroughly 

 what he is talking 

 about. 



Echoes. 

 Many a man thinks 

 he is thinking when 

 he is merely rehear.s- 

 ing thoughts of 

 others. 



Few Indeed. 



Few men woulil 

 work if there were 

 any other honorable 

 way of getting board 

 and clothes. 



Sad to Relate. 



Modest men are al- 

 ways popular, yet 

 egotists continue to 

 increase and mul- 

 tiply- 



Belief. 



Successful men be- 

 lieve in opportunity, 

 backed up by their 

 own efforts. 



THE HARDWOOD MAN AND THE LUMBER TARIFF. 



Too Numerous. 

 There are too many 

 men who would rath- 

 er have a steady job 

 than steady work. 



True Enough. 

 It's easy for a 

 man to keep his 

 temper if he hasn 't 

 any. 



Easy. 



If a man has 

 money to burn he 

 can easily find some 

 unsuccessful lumber- 

 man who will let 

 him in on a good 

 thing. 



Particular About 

 Some Things. 



A man will trust 

 his wife with the 

 care of his children 

 and his money, but 

 not with his prize 

 i-hiekens. 



The Monkey: 'Don't you have the same advantage under the S2.00 protective tariff 



that I do? Isn't your oai, poplar and gum protected?" 

 The Cat: "But I have all the oak, poplar and gum that grows on earth, and the 



protection I am supposed to get is all moonshine." 

 The Monkey: " The extra cost of this mutual protection game on your steel rails, 



machinery and belts is only about 10 per cent. Be a good fellow and go on 



pulling the chestnuts out of the fire for me." 



A Diplomat, 



It is only the born 

 iliplomat who can dis- 

 ouise the interest he 

 feels in himself. 



The 'Way. 



A diplomat is a 

 irian who gets what 

 he wants by pretend- 

 ing- not to want it. 



More Coming to 

 Them. 



Some lumbermen 

 ijet less than they 

 deserve in the way of 

 kicks. 



Serves Her Bight. 



The woman who 

 knows how to man- 

 age a husband never 

 had one — and proba- 

 blv never will. 



Not Much! 



Every man knows a sure cure for a cold 

 that he wouldn't try on himself in a mil- 

 lion vears. 



Sure Thing. 



The boy who would rather hold down his 

 job bundling lath than go to a circus never 

 will amount to much. 



Bestful. 



Eussell Sage's idea seems to be that the 

 proper person with whom to take a vacation 

 is the undertaker. 



Excess of Zeal. 



Enthusiasm always starts off well, but 

 too often it springs a leak. 



Quite a Job. 



It keeps a h3rpocrite busy trying to con- " 

 ince himself that he is honest. 



Bear It in Mind. 



Never hit a man when he is down- 

 perhaps he has friends around the corner. 



