HARDWOOD RECO'^D 



Vert, Pertinent and Impertinent, 



What Happened to Him. 



He kiioi-ktHi (lu-ee iinn*>' ii Ih'avi'ii's i^tite ; 



••Who's tlifrc?" St. Peter ciU-.I. 

 •'A ;»ou'. who wrote newspaper jokes 



Itefdi-.' lie piDed and died." 



•'I will iiivetitigate your cape." 



Sail' ho who keeps the kejs, 

 •Go sit beneath yon chestnut tree 



And meditate at ease." 



Sense. 

 While it is well 

 enough to die happy; 

 it is far more sensi- 

 ble to live that way. 



A Better Time. 

 Women have a bet- 

 ter time than men in 

 this world — there are 

 far more things for 

 bidden them. 



Of Some Account. 



While it is true 

 that the world loves 

 a quiet man, the fel- 

 low who gets up and 

 howls receives a lot 

 of attention. 



A Dollar Bill. 



Vnless .you Ihu-st. wliat bliss for you can sparkle 

 from the spring? 



Unless you hunger, ean the feast a perfect pleas- 

 ure bring? 



Unless you grow aweary, what to you are beds 

 of down ? 



Unless your heart shall Iv^ai a i ross. why seek 

 you for a crown ? 



Unless you've foruetimes oeon "dead broke," 'tis 

 useless, quite, to try 



To tell you what a lot of joy a dollar bill will 

 Iniv. — Nixon Watermax. 



Not 



Folks We Like Best. 



;ne pretliist folks or the wittiest folks 



Are the iolks we like the best ; 

 .\nd no .Tian's money or words of honey 



Can lurn us from all the rest, 

 due ■,- Tat in your eyes, be he ever so wise, 



I may not fancy as ye do : 

 l"o>- those we like best — ah, here is the test ! 



.\re the folks that think .iust as we do ! 



— Nkw \niui riiKSS. 



Profiting by Experience. 



Sure. 



When one tells the 

 truth he is sure to 

 sooner or later be 

 found out. 



Like Other Good 

 Things. 



Your logs uever 

 come to the mill un- 

 less you go out and 

 drag them in. 



A Wise Man. 



It is the wise man 

 who thoroughly 

 knows himself and 

 does not trv to iiud 

 out things about his 

 neighbors. 



Grood Sense. 



A man who neither 

 depreciates himself 

 nor makes light of 

 his abilities has good 

 sense. 



A Good Definition. 



A coward is a man 

 who knows he is 

 wrong but refuses to 

 acknowledge it. 



Different. 



Charity says noth- 

 ing and saws wood; a 

 philanthropist always 

 employs a press 

 agent. 



Experience Says So. 



T t is ordinarily 

 safer to do business 

 with a self-confessed 

 siuiu'r than with a 

 professional saint. 



They Deserve It. 



Some lumbermen 

 may not figure on 

 golden harps and 

 crowns i n Heaven", 

 but they anticipate 

 something- "just as 

 good. ' ' 



Need No Help. 



ilauy people get 

 buried in oblivion 

 without the aid of an 

 undertaker. 



Usually. 

 A man who claims 

 the world owes him a 

 living is likely to 

 owe himsBlf money. 



Don't Have To. 



The man with a 

 piill docs not have 

 to knock. 



Not Sure. 



It is not always 

 wise to .iudge a man 

 by the euss words he 

 doesn't use. 



Easier. 



It is easier for a 

 wise man to act fool- 

 ish than for a foolish 

 man to act wise. 



There Never Was a Better Time to Fall in Line with the Majority. 



Right. 



Trickery is not 

 good salesmanship. 



Knowledge. 



Knowledge is power until a man reaches 

 the stage where he knows it all. 



A Heal Hero. 



Any man who is a hero in the eyes of his 

 wife ought to be satisfied to let it go at that. 



Nothing Cheap. 

 You pay a high price for anything that is 

 unneccssarv, no matter how cheap it may be. 



His Noblest Work. 



An honest grade is the lumbermen's no- 

 blest work. 



Show the Break. 

 Broken promises may be mended, but they 

 always show the cracks. 



A Bad Sermon. 



When the preacher's mind is on the col- 

 lection his sermon is not of the best quality^ 



