THE HARDWOOD RECORD 



15 



has got an inspector or a billy goat, he is 

 bound to believe he is the best in the 

 busine&s. 



Charlie drove me along Delaware av- 

 enue; he also confided to me that with 

 Euclid avenue, Cleveland; Madison av- 

 enue, New York; Michigan avenue, Chi- 

 cago, and a few other avenues, that I can't 

 remember, some people said Delaware av- 

 enue was one of the four finest avenues in 

 the world. I told him I believed it, and I 

 do believe it, for very few people have 

 seen very many of the avenues of the 

 world, and, as a general proposition, no 

 one would dispute what he had to say. and 

 it was a mighty fine avenue. I've noticed, 

 however, that nearly every person, in ev- 

 ery little town, believes the finest street 

 in that town to be the finest there is, not 

 casting any reflections on Charlie's drive, 

 or his general hospitality, however. My 

 view of the case may only be the result of 

 my somewhat pessimistic nature. 



Charlie took me to the cemetery. I 

 don't know why he should do this, be- 

 cause if I should die in Buffalo I would 

 not expect to be buried there. I looked 

 the situation over, however, and picked 

 out a spot where, if really the worst came 

 to worse, I would not mind being planted. 



They have a pretty romance in Buffalo 

 and it is connected to the rude outer 

 world by a very fine and costly monument, 

 which everyone who comes to Buffalo is 

 shown. 



THE UNHAPPY ROMANCE OF BUF- 

 FALO. 



To begin with, as I said, the romance 

 has to do with tombstones. In one of the 

 central lots of the cemetery of Buffalo is 

 a very fine monument, or, rather, a set 

 of monuments, enclosed in a glass case 

 where everybody can see. The group con- 

 sists of a young man, with the Jesse 

 Thompson's style of mustache, reclining 

 on a sofa, evidently far gone in consump- 

 tion. An angel is about to crown him, 

 though what for is not apparent; an old 

 lady is standing by, offering him a bowl 

 of soup. I guess if he eats the soup the 

 angel is going to crown him. 



That was all there was to the monu- 

 ment, and after I had walked around it 

 and looked it over, Charlie took me in his 

 buggy and told me the following story: 



The young man, it seems, had fallen in 

 love with a servant girl, and his father 

 and mother, as was very evident from the 

 statue, had set their face against it and 

 the young man had died of a broken heart. 



Now, that was too bad. And his parents 

 felt awfully bad about it, and erected the 

 costly tombstone before mentioned, which 

 serves at the same time to advertise their 

 wealth and you will naturally know to 

 whom to go when you want to get a note 

 discounted. 



The young man is said to nave died of 

 a broken heart, but it rather seems to me 

 it was the tear of having eo work for a 

 living that put his lights out. If he had 



wanted the girl badly enough to die about 

 it, it seems to me he would have wanted 

 her badly enough to tell the old man to 

 go shoot himself and would have married 

 the girl and gone to work and supported 

 her; but no, he was afraid the old man 

 would cut him off from the discounting 

 business and he would have to go to work, 

 instead of lying around having consump- 

 tion, and the shock killed him. 



No, he didn't die with a broken heart, 

 he died for fear he would have to go to 

 work. Anyhow, it is strictly a family 

 affair and the servant girl doesn't show 

 among the statutes. She is probably still 

 shooting biscuits, unless she has found 

 somebody with more pluck than the man 

 who died of a broken heart. Such tommy 

 rot! 



There is always this suspicion attaching 

 to a person who erects a fine monument 

 over a departed friend or relative, and that 

 is as to how much of the sentiment is due 

 to personal vanity, and a desire for self 

 display. Tombstones are all right in their 

 place, but why do you want to wait until 

 a man is dead and don't know, nor care, 

 what you do for him, and then erect a 

 costly monument over his grave, when the 

 chances are that he was eating his heart 

 out for want of a few dollars while he 

 lived? A has the tombstones, but long live 

 Charlie Stanton. 



* * * 



Having gotten into a confidential mood 

 and being affected by the beautiful 

 weather, Charlie suggested to me, or I sug- 

 gested to him, that a man who was poetic- 

 ally inclined ought to have a stenographer 

 along to take down his poetical thoughts 

 as he thought them. Whether Charlie 

 suggested it to me or not, he agreed with 

 me that it would be a good thing, but I 

 told him I had not found a stenographer 

 in Buffalo inclined to drive about with me; 

 that if I did find one such, my wife would 

 probably get a divorce, so we will have to 

 make out somehow by remembering such 

 of our beautiful thoughts as we may while 

 sitting in a stuffy room at the hotel. I 

 guess we can remember enough. 



The lumber interests in Buffalo I found 

 unchanged. There is some contest among 

 the boys as to who gave me the first ad- 

 vertisement. I will put the matter for- 

 ever at rest. 



I called on Morris Wall first, as was 

 natural, and he told me that if the Empire 

 Lumber Company would sign a contract, 

 he would. At the Empire Lumber Com- 

 pany, Mr. Yeager, who has since gone in 

 business for himself, signed the contract. 

 Then I went back and Morris Wall signed 

 it also. That was something like five or 

 six years ago, and the two advertisements 

 have -been running regular and drawing 

 interest like a mortgage on a house. 



I want it understood that there is no 

 bloodshed over this affair; the contest was 



E. E. Taenzer & Co. 



(Incorporated) 



MANUFACTURERS 

 AND DEALERS 



— HIGH -GRADE — 



Hardwood Lumber 



Band Sawn Thin Slock 

 a Specialty 



MAIN OFFICE AND MILL : 

 Florida Ave. and Y. & M. V. R. R. 



ME/VIPHIS. : TENN. 



ALSO MILL AT SHORT BEND. ARK. 



WANTED. 



We are in the market for 

 the following lumber, must be 

 in good dry condition, and if 

 can furnish any or all, please 

 quote us f. o. b. cars shipping 

 point, describing stock, and 

 how soon same can be 

 reached. 



10 '0 20 cars 1 In. 1st and 2nd Plain White 



2 cars lii in 1st and 2nd Plain Whi<e Oak 



1 car V4 in. 1st and 2nd Plain White Oak' 



3 cars 1\ in. 1st and 2nd Plain White Oak 



2 cars 2 m Island 2nd Plain White Oak' 

 1 car 2H in. 1st and 2nd Plain While Oak' 

 5 cars 3 in. 1st and 2nd Plain White Oak 

 1 car 4 in. 1st and 2nd Plain White Oak! 



The abnve stock must be well manufact- 

 ured, equalized trimmed lensths. Prefer 

 band sawn s ock. Could take i5<4 to 25* of 

 good Common with same. 



We are also In the market for the following: 

 10 cars 1 in. Common P;ain White Oak 

 atolOearsl in. Island 2nd Plain Red Oak 

 lu cars 1 in. Common Plain Red Oak 



FOR SALE. 



2 cars 1 in. Isl and 2nd Quartered Red Oak. 

 2 cars 1 in. Common Quartered Red Oak. 

 1 car 1 in. x 10 in. and up 1st and 2nd 



Plain Red Oak. 

 Icar 1'4 In. x 10 in. and up 1st and 2d Ash. 

 H car lij In. x 10 in. and up Island 2nd Ash 

 1 car 1 "i in. X 12 In. and up 1st and 2nd Red 



Gum (two .years old). 

 1 car 2 in. X 6 in. and up Isl and 2nd Red 



Gum (3 to 4 months old). 

 10 cars 1 in. Gum Crating lumber, can ship 



rough or d. 2 s. 



3.000,000 ft. 1 in. Poplar. 

 lU'. IH and 2 in. bang up stock, all grades 

 and good lengths. 



E.E.TAENZER&CO. 



(Incorporated) 



MEMPHIS 



