HARDWOOD RECORD 



II 



Vert, Pertinent and Impertinent. 



The Oak. 



The monarch oak. the patri.irch of trees. 

 Shoots rising up. and spreads hv low degrees : 

 Three centuries he grows, and three he stays 

 Supreme in state • and in three more decays. 



— Detdex. 



Fee's New Grade Term. 



There once was a feller named Fee, 



A quarter sawed oak man was he, 



The terms flrst and second 



He objected to reckon, 



So "Fas" he ordained it should be. 



To My Pipe. 

 When love grows cool, thy fire still warms me. 

 VThen friends are fled, thy presence charms me. 

 It thou art full, though purse be bare. 

 I smoke and cast away all care ! 



— Germax SiroKixG Song. 



The Real ThiQg. 



The -wav of the 

 transgressor may be 

 hard, but it's the in- 

 uoeent bj'stander who 

 gets hit with the fall- 

 ing scaflfold plank. 



Do It Now? 

 Don't take "Do it 

 now" for gospel. 

 There are many 

 things that better be 

 delayed or never 

 <3one. 



The Moral Agent. 



The world 's greatest 

 moral agent is fear. 

 The ' ' still, small 

 voice of conscience ' ' 

 deters much fewer 

 from wro n g d o i n g 

 than does the still, 

 small voice that wliis- 

 pers: "You may be 

 found out." 



What They Get. 



The Sermon on the 

 Mount has been 

 proved unsound many 

 times. The "bles.sed 

 meek" are not good 

 lumber men. The 

 blessed meek don 't 

 inherit the earth — 

 not by a billion acres 

 — they inherit bad 

 debts and kicks. 



Believe in Yourself. 



Don't be afraid of 

 self-c onfidence is 

 good advice to young 

 men in the lumber 

 trade. Timidity is re- 

 sponsible for nine 

 failures out of ten. 

 If you don 't believe 

 in yourself how can 

 you expect others to 

 believe in you? 



A SUGGESTION WORTH WHILE. 



Kational Association— "My rules are rig-ht; Tjny of me." 

 Mannfactnrers' Association— "My system is impartial; buy of me." 



Consumer— "Quit your fooling-, boys Your inspection rules and your methods may differ, 

 but you both give me identical grades. 'Spose you call it Joint Hardwood Inspection 

 ^ and we'll all be happy." 



Explanation in Order 



Genius manifests it- 

 self in sundry ways, 

 but perhaps none ex- 

 cel the fool advertis- 

 ing cartoonist. The 

 last issue of a mush- 

 room magazine has 

 its back cover embel- 

 lished with au adver- 

 tising cartoon of a 

 man on a tread-mill 

 to which is attached 

 a circular saw. While 

 the mandrel is ac- 

 tuated in one direc- 

 tion, the saw at the 

 end of it is running 

 the opposite way. 

 This scheme is up to 

 A^'else Gladding. Some 

 one has run in a new 

 saw deal on him when 

 he wasn't looking. 



Synonym for Woods- 

 man, 

 Thomas Anonymous 

 avers that a woods- 

 man is a man who 

 backs his destructive 

 instincts with an ax. 



The Reason of It, 

 The world is grow- 

 ing honest, not be- 

 cause men have 

 achieved a higher 

 morality, but since 

 Poor Eichard's time 

 they have truly learn- 

 ed that "honesty is 

 the best policy ' ' — ■ 

 that there's money in 

 it. Nowadays a man 

 ■who is (dishonest is 

 regarded more the 

 fool than the knave-^ 

 and is pitied aceoi'd- 

 ingly. 



Bur Oak. 



It is said that bur oak best survives the 

 effects of settlement and cultivation of any of 

 our native forest trees. Yet even the bur 

 oak will not endure the continuous tramping 

 of stock about its roots. Many men have 

 yet to learn the value of the biblical adage 

 that wheat and tares will not grow on the 



same ground. Timber can not successfully 

 be reproduced with stock grazing permitted 

 on the same land. 



A Mine of Lumber. 

 A current newspaper paragraph has it that 

 a Russian timber dealer has discovered a 

 valuable mine of oak existing in south Rtis- 



sia in layers three to four feet deep, scat- 

 tered over 150 square miles. The wood when 

 exhumed presents most striking features of 

 variegated colors, including; numerous shades 

 of pink, blue, yellow and brown. The logs 

 taken out have ranged from forty to 200 

 feet in length and from twenty to fifty inches 

 in diameter, and are absolutely sound. 



