>&0&^ RECORD 



II 



Pert, Pertinent and Impertinent, 



From a New Point of View. 

 Woodman, spare thyself. 



That tree is large and tough. 

 Though toil thou must for pelf 



Shun wort thafs hard and rough. 



Of course the tree must go, 

 It spoils the field of view ; 



But linger not belcrw, 



A bough might fall on you. 



Too broad the tree and high. 

 Why cumbereth it the ground? 



By inches let it die — 

 Remove its bark around. 



— Thomas Anontmous 



What WiU He Do? 

 King Edward has 

 tabooed the fancy 

 waistcoat. What ef- 

 fect this decision will 

 have on J. Sam 

 Wright, one of the 

 first citizens and pe- 

 can growers of Board- 

 man, X. C, is con- 

 jectural. 



WAITING FOR THE FARMER'S WOOD LOT. 



Do It Yovirself. 



The man who 

 wants it well done 

 must blow his own 

 horn. 



Monetary Conversa- 

 tion. 

 It is usually the 

 money of the silent 

 partner that talks. 



Don't Be Disagree- 

 able. 

 Most people would 

 rather have a poorly 

 dressed lie than the 

 naked truth put be- 

 fore them. 



A StiU Hunt. 



Some men are on 

 Buch a still hunt for 

 work that no one ever 

 discovers they are af- 

 ter it. 



Advertise. 

 "Silence is gold- 

 en" like many other 

 old saws does not 

 compare with the up 

 to date way of cut- 

 ting to the heart of 

 things. The motto of 

 the successful busi- 

 ness man of today is 

 "have something to 

 say and say it." 



Warning to Lumber- 

 men. 

 The man who in- 

 vests in hardwood to 

 the exclusion of roses 

 after marriage is quite 

 apt to pay alimony. 



Pirst Sawmill Man— Pnrty bunch of timber, eh. Bill? 



Second Sawmill Man— You bet, but we'll never get a chance to put an ax in it until the 



old man dies. 

 First Sawmill Man— Gittin' pnrty feeble, ain't he? 

 Second Sawmill Man Tep; we'll plant him purty soon, and then his boys will sell the 



timber fast enong'h. 



Do It Now. 

 It takes some peo- 

 ple so long to get 

 things ready to go to 

 work that they never 

 accomplish anything. 



Count Your Bless- 

 ings. 

 Pity the poor blind 

 man. He can never 

 see the gray smoke or 

 the red lips curl at 

 his bidding. The sight 

 of two of man's 

 greatest joys— a good 

 cigar and a kissable 

 mouth are not for 

 him. 



Hotel 



Ver- 



Clerk's 

 sion. 



"Many are called 

 but few — get up." 



Put The Curb On. 

 A man's philosophy 

 is much like his.moral- 

 ity — ^it lacks limit. 



It Looks Good to Me. 

 It's a mighty lucky 

 thing that the value 

 of a kiss does not lie 

 in the looks of it. 



Experience Teaches. 

 A word from the 

 wise should be suf- 

 ficient, but the trou- 

 ble is we all want to 

 get wise ourselves. 



WiUing to Take a 

 Chance. 

 It may be easier 

 for a camel to go 

 through the eye of a 

 needle than for the 

 rich man to enter 

 heaven, but most hard- 

 wood lumbermen wUJ 

 take his chance. 



Oak in California. 

 It is currently reputed that there is no oak 

 on the Pacific Slope, but the Nevada City, 

 Cal., Transcript has a paragraph to the 

 effect that men are at work on a timber 

 property at Wclf cutting oak logs for a saw- 

 mill that is to be moved there very soon, and 

 that already 60.000 feet of timber is ready 

 to be sawed. The output of the plant goes 

 to a furniture factory at Sacramento. 



Did You Ever? 



Did you ever go into a beer saloon. 



And drink and drink and drink ; 

 And then sit down on a cracker box, 



And think and think and think. 

 And think perhaps that you wouldn't drink. 

 And drink perhaps till you couldn't think? 

 Then look in a glass with a knowing wink, 

 Step 'round the comer and take another drink? 

 ■ — The Dipsomaniac. 



A Conimdrum. 



S:id — Papa, how much are white oak logs 

 worth in Indiana? 



•Father — About twenty dollars a thousand. 



Kid — Why does sawing them in quarters 

 make them worth eighty dollars a thousand? 



Father — You go spring your fool questions 

 on Charlie Barnaby down at Greencastle. 



