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Peru Pertinent and Impertinent 



The Sawmill Zoo 



The "hog" it was devouring 



All the offal from the mill. 

 And grinding and a-crunching 



Like a real hog guzzling swill, 

 When suddenly the "donkey" 



Started up its wheezy bray. 

 As though by such procedure 



It would drive the "hog" away ; 

 But at that very moment 



The old "nigger" btitted in 

 And drowned both "hog" and "donkey" 



Most completely with its din ; 

 Just then appeared the "pony" 



Loudly snorting round the bond 

 And brought the mill-zoo chorus 



To a very sudden end. 



—F. B. W. 



A Cracker Lumberjack 

 A lumberjack from Georgia 



Came hiking into town. 

 His name was Alex Ander 



And he had won renown 

 For feats of strength and courage 



While living on hardtack ; 

 He was a woodland wonderv— 



A lumber crackerjack. 



—F. B. W. 



Some Strong 



Brannigan : "Well, sor, my father was that 

 sthrong he cud take a two-by-four in his hands 

 an' wid wan twist, bingo ! — kindlin' wood." 



Flannigan ; "That's aisy. Sure, my father 

 was that sthrong he cud take a tillygraft pole 

 in wan hand and wid wan twist, bango ! — saw- 

 dust." 



VERY APPARENT 



Mary's Clothes 

 Mary had a little lamlj — 



'Twas Persian — on her coat : 

 She also had a mink or two 



About her dainty throat ; 

 A bird of paradise, a tern. 



And ermine made the hat 

 That perched at jaunty angle 



On her coiffure, largely rat ; 

 Her tiny boots were sable topped, 



Her gloves were muskrat, too ; 



Her muff had heads and talis of half 

 The "critters" In the zoo ; 



And when she walked abroad I ween 

 She feared no wintry wind ; 



At keeping warm 'twas plain to see 

 She had all nature "skinned." 



Suggestion for a new and necessary frill for all full steel car equipped passenger trains. 



Breaking the News 



Mrs. Reno-Freed (to small daughter) : "My 

 darling, I want to tell you a secret. Your 

 mother is going to be married again next week." 



Daughter : "Oh, mamma ! And after all the 

 trouble we had with papa !" — Boston Transcript. 



The gum tree is not the source of gum-drops, 

 although some gum drops from it at times. 



Sawdust as a food is not at all likely to make 

 a hit with the lumberjack. The "salt horse" 

 and beans of the old-time logging camp days 

 would appeal more strongly to his gustatory 

 desire. 



jined, 



Tran- 



script. 



In Porestal Parlance 



Savv'yer : "Hello, Canter ! I hear you have 

 bought another tract of timber land." 



Canter : "Yes, I have picked up a few more 

 trees. I am branching out, you know." 



Sawyer : "Ah ha ! I twig." 



Those substitutes for wood will not contribute 

 much to the supply of breakfast food. They 

 lack the sawdust. 



Ambition is a word that has been frequently 

 given a wrong definition : abnormal faith in one's 

 self. A better meaning is to want to go higher 

 and to be willing to sweat for it. 



—25— 



