

Peru Pertinent and Impertinent 



Tale of a "Tail" Cook 

 Son Henny was a "Cookee" on the Wbitelisb 



long ago, 

 A chubby little ■'Deitchci" with a mop of hair 



like tow ; 

 He dumped grub on the table in a sawmill chuck 



hotel. 

 And soused the tinware after meals in manner 



very swell. 



In winter-time up in the woods he snaked the 



chuck-sled out 

 To feed the lumberjacks at work, who hailed 



him with a shout : 

 But one sad day poor Henny fell — he went out 



minus tea. 



And every jack was hopping mad and cussed him 

 lustilee. 



Back to the camp then Henny hied to mend lii- 



awful break, 

 But, sad to say, in doing it he made a worse 



mistake ; 

 He grabbed a tin of sage and ran — he soon was 



on the job — 

 He made the tea and poisoned all that chuck 



destroying mob. 



F. B. W. 



There is something suggestive of the business 

 methods of the manufacturers in the mere name 

 of those "all-steel" cars. 



THE MODERN FAGIN 



A Substitute 



The "geezer" we have heard about 



Who had a "wooden leg," 

 Stepped in a knot-hole one dark day 



And couldn't move the peg. 

 Oh ! wasn't that a funny fix? 



And still, it was no joke. 

 For when he tried to pull it out 



His paper leg went broke. 



Not all the tin automobiles are to be found 

 in the toy shops. iVIany of them, of larger size, 

 are running about the streets endangering the 

 lives of their occupants as well as those of 

 pedestrians. 



Washington dispatch : President Taft is told that the money trust has trade in a grip of iron, and this so-called 

 trust now is engaging the earnest attention of the administration. 



No ■Wonder 



Jim : "Say, Jack, what's guawin' Louie to- 

 day? Th' blamed old chuck destroyer seems to 

 be peeved "bout somethin'." 



Jack : "Huh ! he's peeved all right. Joe 

 jabbed him in th' slats with his peavie, an' it 

 hurt his feelin's." 



Basswood has its uses, but it has not Ijecome 

 widely known as a suitable material for the 

 manufacture of bass viols. 



Cause for Action 



Barker : "Hello, Eider, what's up between 

 you and Canter?" 



Rider : "My mitts'll be up the first time I 

 get my eye on him ! The slab-sided son-of-a- 

 saw-horse said I couldn't ride a log unless it 

 was bridled and saddled." 



Accuracy is as essential in filing a saw or 

 lining up a carriage, as it is in cutting a dia- 

 mond. 



Trade T-waddle 



Mr. Carpenter : "Good morning, Mr. Barber. 

 I have brought my little son to have his hair 

 shingled." 



Mr. Barber : "All right, Mr. Carpenter. 

 Have you run out of shingles?" 



Mr. Carpenter : "Haw haw ! No, I've got the 

 shingles, but I never shingle his roof. I shingle 

 his basement though, whenever he needs to have 

 it done." 



—25— 



