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Peru Pertinent and Impertinent 



Ode to a Lumber Buyer 



Itis path is not strewn with roses, 

 .llis life's not the life of a king : 

 His linowledge must equal Jehovah's — 

 He is supposed to linow everything I 



Representatives, peddlers and salesmen 

 I Throng his office throughout the long day. 



While his woric lies unfinished and waiting, 

 ■ Till they've finished and gone on their way. 



Ho has shortages, culls and deductions, 

 Claims and overcharges in freight, 



Though it's hard (o gel any i-ednctiun?;. 

 He tries and he tries and he waits. 



But through it all he smiles in liis glory. 



His motto is "huy cheap or die." 

 And he gives us this same old story, 



"I'd like to, hut you're a little too high." 



— IFoo-JIoo UulUAin. 



Agricultural Item 



Some men can always raise a ten. 



When troubles come. 

 It's easy to raise money when 



You've i)lanted some. 



Would It? 

 ^'puld the world be any different 



(Of this I am not sure) ' 



If all the poor should be made rich 



And all the rich folks poor? 



Hope 



Hope like the gleaming taper's light 



Adorns and cheers our way ; 

 And- still as darker grows the night, 

 Emits a brighter ray. 



— Goldsmilh. 

 Where there is no hope there can be no en- 

 deavor. — Dr. Johnson. 



THE STORY TOLD BY THE SCALES 



When wood and its substitutes are placed in the balance, the result is always the same. 



he 



the 

 the 



The Kind Wanted 



"I have the faith that moves mountains,' 

 declared. 



"I wish," his wife complained, you had 

 faith that would move the ashes out of 

 basement." — Chicago Rccord-JIcialil, 



Whence Derived 



Professor — Mr. Bilton, you will kindly outline 

 briefi.y the fundamental law against bigamy. 



Bilton — Yes'r. You'll find it in the bible. It 

 says no man can serve two masters. — Lippin- 

 cotVs. 



Disproportion 



"The trouble with that firm," said Mr. Dustin 

 Stax, "is its lack of a sense of proportion. 



"In what way?" 



"It is one of those concerns that have a ?5,000 

 safe with about $50 of real money in it." — ■ 

 "Washington Star. 



Unexpected 



Plato Weetz (at cheap lunch counter) — Do you 

 come here often? 



Cutter Pye — Same as* you do — when I think 

 I'm not going to meet anybody I know. 



She Was Indignant 



"I have often thought how easy it is for a 

 man, innocently too, to get in trouble," said 

 Assemblyman Abeurn, of Kings. "One day, 

 for instance, I was in a restaurant down on 

 Long Island, and I said to the waitress : 



"'Have you frogs' legs?" 



" 'No, sir, I have not ; it's a sprained ankle 

 that makes me walk like that.' 



"What's a man going to do?" — New York 

 Herald. 



—25— 



