'^ ^^5B^ 5^i^:;^^.'^^^L)ic^^Aa^>.^ii;l^i^i>^-H?;LV-;i^^^^^«v)>^'.'^SK>M^^^^^ 



Pert^ Pertinent and Impertinent 



Your magazine is just at lianO, 



Its pages are perused. 

 And if it chaiSced to mLss us 



We'd thinlc we were abused, 

 And generally stir tilings up 



Witli ail of Gibson's boys 

 If we didn't get the Record 



From Chicago, Illinois. 



We read the editorials 

 And study every ad. 

 And watch the local notices 



An Appreciation in Verse 



Of dealers.' sonii and liail 

 The reading of your paper 



Is one of our chief Joys 

 We'd dislike to miss the 1{ecohi> 



Of Chicago, Illinois. 



We study technicalities 



Of lumber plants and mills. 



Of the cutting up of lumber 

 I'pon a thousand bills ; 



Of how it's mannfacturod 

 Into useful things and toys 



.\eccinling to I lie I!Kr<iiii> 

 Of Chicago. Illinois. 



So when we reach the pearly gates 



And meet St. Peter there. 

 And stand with our uncovered heads 



(Some even shy of hair) 

 We may decide to go bacl< home 



To all its cares and Joys, 

 If they haven't got the RKConn 



From Chicago, Illinois, 



April 6. inia. 



A. S. B. 



LUMBERING UNDER DIFFICULTIES 



Present Status of Saw Milling in the Lower Mississippi Valley as Viewed by Hardwood Record Cartoonist. 



A Story With a Moral 

 The desire to sell all the lumber in any com- 

 munity reminds one of the old story of the small 

 boy who was chided by his father for eating too 

 fast and too much at the dinner table. The 

 tirade carne to an end with the remark : "You 

 sure do eat like a little pig ! Do you know what 

 a pig is, my son?" "Yes, father, I know what 

 a pig is," replied the kid, "a pig is the son of a 

 hog." — Exch-ange. 



The Cynic 



Wigwag — "The secret of a happy married lite 

 is to marry one's opposite." 



Cynicus — "Yes. I have frequently remarked 

 that your wife was a most charming woman. " 

 — Philadelphia Recoril. 



- Smiths 'Well Cared For 

 Englishman (patronizingly i — Your school fa- 

 cilities are excellent, I am told. 



American (suavely) — Well, I should say. See 

 the Smithsonian institution over there? Think 

 of a building like that just to educate the 

 Smiths. — Vogur. 



A Pleasing Sight 

 "Pop :" 



"Yes, my son." 



"What is a popular uprising?'* 

 "Why, a popular uprising, my boy, is when 

 every man in a street car gets up and offers 

 his seat when one lone woman enters the car." 

 — Youkcrs Statesman. 



Had Been There 



Wedderly — "Let me congratulate you, old boy. 

 This is undoubtedly the happiest day of your 

 life." 



Singleton — "You're a little previous. I'm not 

 to be married until tomorrow." 



Wedderly — "I know it — and you heard what 

 I said." 



—27— 



