36 



HARDWOOD RECORD 



the other fellow plays your game, but not so ' ' derned ' ' safe 

 when you play his, 



A STORY ABOUT 'BART" 



An acquaintance recalls an incident in the life of Earl Bartholo- 

 mew, with John B. Eansom & Co., which proves that his resource- 

 fulness existed even at an early age. 



About twenty years ago, Mr. Bartholomew and several others 

 were snow-bound in the home of a friend at Nashville, Tenn., for 

 several days and one of the pastimes taken up was the telling of 

 impromptu stories, it being the aim of each story-teller to leave 

 the hero or heroine in as bad a position, to be taken up by the 

 next "teller," as possible. In one of the stories the preceding 

 narrator left the hero in the infernal regions condemned to swal- 

 low a ladle full of hot lead, and he was then turned over to Earl 

 for rescue. The latter in the twinkling of an eye changed the 

 "dope" to ice cream and triumphantly brought the hero back to 

 the world in an elevator operated by a slot machine, though he 

 had to get out several times on the way up and drop in a few 

 extra coins. 



Any man that can do this can certainly give points to salesmen 

 on "the cost of selling lumber" or any other old thing. 



STICK-TO-IT-IVENESS 



Paul M. Youngblood, assistant sales manager of the Payson- 

 Smith Lumber Company of Minneapolis tells a story on his 

 brother, T. E. Youngblood, manager of the St. Louis office of the 

 same company. A number of years ago he and Tom were squirrel 

 hunting in Missouri; Tom shot a squirrel which lodged in a fork 

 of a high tree and, despite all his eiforts, he was unable to dis- 

 lodge it. 



Paul and another companion gave up and continued to hunt 

 in other quarters, but Tom had it in his system to get that 

 squirrel, and he spent the balance of the day trying to do so. 



Paul states that when they returned at sundown the squirrel 

 was still in the crotch but both the tree and Tom's shins had 

 been denuded of bark. 



Tom states at the present time that when he goes after a 

 customer he hangs on to him in the same way, but, though he 

 did not get the squirred, he usually gets the order, and conse- 

 quently his customers are advised to throw up their hands when 

 he makes the first shot, as it will save time. 



SUSPICIOUS OF FRENCH MENU TERMS 

 Several years ago when the Northwestern Hardwood Lumber 

 Association was holding its annual banquet in St. Paul, W. C. 

 Stanton of that city who, by the way, is a great church and Sun- 

 day school worker, was on the entertainment committee. Through 

 some inexplicable error, wine was served, which was considered 

 a fairly good joke on "Brother Stanton." The next year he 

 was still on the committee, and when the proof of the menu 

 was shown to him, he discovered at the bottom of the card the 

 word "demi tasse," and in dismay 'phoned the caterer asking 

 why his positive instructions had been disregarded, as it seemed 

 that a liquor was to be served. 



The effect of this coffee joke was more lasting tlian that of the 

 booze, at least Mr. Stanton so declares. 



IS IT A CHESTNUT OB CHESTNUT? 



A somewhat excited lumber shipper ran into the office of a fellow- 

 sufferer in Buffalo and inquired if anyone could tell him what to do 

 with a car of chestnut he bad on track. He had had it weighed at 

 two different points in transit and it was shown to be about twice as 

 heavy as chestnut lumber is reputed to be. 



"Go and sell the stuff for oak," said one of his hearers. "The 

 fellow who sold it to you was asleep when he loaded the car. If 

 anyone kicks about it you can say that it is no chestnut." 



BIG GAME IN THE ADIRONKACKS 

 Some of the good-looking men, wlio do duty as the Buffalo office 

 force of the Emporium Lumber Company, took a trip to the now 

 Adirondack sawmill of the company to post themselves on what the 



mill was doing and see how the new cut of logs was turning out. 

 They found a lot of new lumber in the piles and then set out for the 

 logging district, where a permanent house has been put up for the use 

 of the camp. The log showing was all right and then the visitors 

 went into natural history as a side issue. 



There had been some warm weather lately and the wild beasts of 

 the region, wliifh have an easy time of it sleeping till the winter is 

 over, had begun to open their eyes and come to the surface here and 

 there. An overgrown and very fat hedgehog had made his appearance 

 and at first climbed a tree to see what was doing. Then he dropped 

 down to the snow, three feet deep, and began to wabble over it 

 towards a log pile. 



The men then plunged into the suoiv and tried to convince the beast 

 that they were following him. Picture several lusty men wallowing 

 about, up to their waists, and a porcupine leisurely walking on the 

 top of the snow to a place of safety under the logs. 



Why is it that the man with the camera is always off duty when 

 he is wanted, just as the man with a gun always used to be? 



LUMBER PHILOSOPHY 



Lumber is a commodity which has more peculiarities than any- 

 thing else produced by man. Lumber piles have a way of changing 

 widths and lengths suddenly and mysteriously, for if you want 

 stock all 10-inch and wider, 14 and 16 feet long, every pile is 

 sure to contain 6 to 9-inch widths, 10 and 12 feet, while if by 

 an almost unheard of chance you locate a customer who wants all 

 narrow and short stock, the jiiles are very certain to contain all 



wide, long lumber. 



# * * 



It has been proven beyond doubt that a quantity of a certain 

 class of stock may be a drug on the market for from three 

 to five j'ears, and finally in desperation a price is put on it that 

 moves it. Invariably within a week letters come from all sections 

 of the country inquiring for this very stock and it is quite prob- 

 able that the average lumberman has shed more tears over this 

 fact than for his sins. 



■X- * * 



Lumber seems to accumulate defects in transit, as many cars 'of 

 stock are apparently free of knots and other defects when shipped, 

 which when shown to the original shipper or inspector contain 

 many defects that he is willing to swear were not there when the 



car was loaded. 



# * tt 



Lumber will also dry out nicely in pile, but acquire greenness 

 in the car. Witness, many cars of stock that are from half green 

 to green when they arrive at destination, that were thoroughly 



dry when shipped. 



# » * 



Chestnut, poplar and oak, and possibly other woods, may be 

 apparently as clear as a bell when in pile and be covered with 

 piles of sawdust and show thoroughly worm-eaten when taken 

 down, much to the surprise and disgust of the owner who, up to 

 the present time, has found no way to obviate this loss. 



# « « 



We know of a manufacturer who used hickory dimension and, 

 to prevent the ravages of insects, sprinkled it with kerosene oil, 

 after which it proceeded to burn up. The only satisfaction the 



owner found was the cremation of the bugs. 



» » » 



In certain sections of the country the writer has known of all 

 oak being piled together and the piles yielding cither red or 

 white oak when shipped out, according to the wants of the cus- 

 tomer. This is rapidly becoming one of the lost arts, not owing, 

 however, to the loss of magic power liy the owner, but rather to 



the education of the buyer. 



# * tt 



Hardwood lumber is limited to a comparatively small area, as 

 not to exceed seventeen to eighteen states number it among their 

 products, which shows that a handful of men, not over 20,000 at 

 the most, should find it an easy matter to get together and regu- 

 late prices and output. 



