' S3; Eg5waiti;vj}tiTO^twM^>^ii>st:Kra^ 



Peru Pertinent and Impertinent 



Tlic summer winds is snifRu" round tlie bloomiu' 



locus* trees ; 

 And the clover in the pasture is a big day fer 



the bees, 

 And thej- been a-swiggin' honey, above board and 



on the sly, 

 Tel they stutter in theyr buzzin' and stagger as 



they fly. 

 The flicker on the fence-rail 'pears to jest spit 



on Ills wings 

 And roll up his feathers, by the sassy way he 



sings : 

 And the hoss-fly is a-whettin'-up his forelegs fer 



liiz. 

 Ami the nft-mare is a-switchin' all of her tale 



they is. 



Thoughts for the Discouraged 

 Vi)U can hear the blackbirds jawin' as they foller 



up the plow — 

 Oh, theyr bound to git theyr brekfast. and 



theyr not a-carin' how : 

 So they quarrel in the furri.es, and they quarrel 



on the wing — 

 Iiut theyr peaceabler in pot-pies than any other 



thing : 

 And it"s when I git my shotgun drawed up in 



stiddy rest. 

 She's as full of tribbelation as a yeller-jackefs 



nest : 

 And a few shots before dinner, when the sun's 



a-shinin' right, 

 Sceras to kindo'-sorto' sharpen up .1 feller's 



appetite 1 



They's been a heap 0' rain. but. the sun's out 



to-day, 

 And the clouds o£ the wet spell is all cleared 



away. 

 And the woods is all the greener, and the grass 



is greener still : 

 It may rain again to-morry, but I don't think it 



will. 

 Some says the crops is ruined, and the corn's 



drownded out. 

 And propha-sy the w'neat will be a failure, with- 

 out doubt : 

 But the kind Providence that has never failed us 



yet. 

 Will lie nn hand one't more at the 'leventh hour, 



I bet I — h-iiirs ^yllit(nuth RUi^tj. 



THE PRESENT SITUATION 







■^^rS^ 



The Tourist with the Dog: How is 

 The Lumberman Fisherman: I don't 



He Learned How It 'Was Done 



Elihu Root tells a story about himself and his 

 efforts to correct the manners of his oflBce boy. 

 One morning the young autocrat came into the 

 office, and. tossing his cap at a hook. excLiimed : 



"Say, Mr. Root, there's a ball game down at 

 the park to-day, and I want to go down.' 



Now the great lawyer was willing that the boy 

 should go, but thought he would teach him a 

 little lesson in good manners. 



"James," he said, "that isn't the way to ask 

 a favor. Now you sit down in my chair and I'll 



the lumber business nowadays? 



know a thing about the lumber business nowadays, .ind I don t give a rap. 



show you how to do it properly." 



The boy took the office chair, and bis employer 

 picked up his cap and stepped outside. He then 

 opened the door softly, and. holding the cap in 

 his hand, said quietly to the small boy in the 

 big chair : 



"Please, sir. there is a ball game at the park 

 to-day : if you can spare me I would like to get 

 away for the afternoon." 



In a flash the boy responded : 



"Why, certainly, Jimmie : and here is fifty 

 cents to pay your way in." — Lnilies' Home 

 Journal. 



Once Enough 



A farmir took out a policy of fire insurance 

 on his barn. After a loss and due proofs, the 

 company came to settle or adjust the loss, but 

 look advantage of Its option under the contract 

 III build a new barn. 



Subsequently a life insurance company sought 

 to have liim insure his life in favor of his wife. 



"Oh, no." he said, "you don't catch me a 

 second tinn'. If Id die, you would come around 

 here and offi-r ti get a new husband for her. — 

 Cllinl'l'i Miicririlii. 



—19— 



