■ TOteiM5aita^;i;:m!J^i^mias;w;;^fci*«it»TOi^^ 



Peru Pertinent and Impertinent 



When the train pulls in and you grab your grip. 

 And- the hackman's there with his frayod-out 



whip, 

 I'ou call on your man and try to be gay, 

 And all you get is "nothing doing today," 



Then you"re a Peddler, 



By gad, you're a Peddler. 



When you get into town and call on your man, 

 "Can you see me Hill V" "Why sure I can." 



A Lumber Salesman 



You size up his stock, make a rough count, and 



Bill presently 

 Says. "Send the usual amount." 



Then you're an order Taker. 



By gad, you're an order Taker. 



When you travel along and everything's flnr. 

 And you don't get up till half past nine. 

 When you see each concern and talk conditions. 



And write it all homi- with many additions. 



TWO VERSIONS 



Then you're a Traveling Man, 

 By gad, you're a Traveling Man. 



When you call on your trade and they talk 



"hard times,'' 

 "Lower prices" and decided declines, 

 But you talk and smile, make the world look 



bright, 

 And send in .1 nice fat order each night, 



Then you're a Salesman. 



By gad, you're a Salesman. 



It Is a Wise Man Who Really Knows From Which Standpoint Proposed Freight Rate Advances Are Justified 



Nine Points in Her Favor 



The lovely girl, having lingered a minute in 

 her room to adjust her transformation, change 

 the angle of her Grecian band and make sure 

 that her skirt fitted like the peeling of a plum, 

 descended to the parlor to find the family pet 

 ensconced upon the knee of the young-man 



caller, her curly head nestled comfortably 

 against his shoulder. 



■Why, Mabel '." the young lady exclaimed ; 

 "aren't you ashamed of yourself'.' Get right 

 down." 



"Sha'n't do it," retorted the child. "I got 

 here first." 



A "Dickens" of a Salary 



While an Irishman was gazing in the window 

 of a Toronto book ."itore, the following sign 

 caught his eye : "Uickens' Works all This Week 

 for only $4.00." 



"The divvle he does''* exclaimed Pat in disgu'-'f. 

 "The dirty sci^b !" 



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