Peru Pertinent and Impertinent 



Government by the People 



In ivery countbry like England an" ours 

 which is ruled entirely be th" people, it is uieeis- 

 sary to have a body iv intelligent an" consarvi- 

 tive men to sea that they don't entirely rule th' 

 counthry. D'ye see th' pint? Th' whole idee 

 iv a republic is that the people should have 

 what they think is good f r thim. But there are 

 more thoughtful pathrites who know that if 

 they want it very much it can't be good f'r 

 thim, so they stop it. Ye start a republic be 

 askin' th' people what they want, but ye pre- 

 serve it be not lettin' thim have it. — Mr. Dooley. 



Her Abandoned Trip 



"Why has your wife decided to gi%-e up the 

 European trip she was contemplating?" 



"She happened to hear somebody say that 

 travel broadened one." — Chicago Record-Herald. 



The Steady Subscriber 



IXow dear to our hearts is the steady subscriber, 

 Who pays in advance at tha birth of each year. 

 Who lays down the money and does it quite 

 gladly, 

 .\nc! casts 'round the office a halo of cheer, 

 lie never says : "Stop it, I cannot afford it, 



I'm getting more magazines now than I read" : 

 r.ut always r.ays, "Send it; our people all 

 like it — 

 The fact is we think it a help and a need." 

 IIow welcome his check when it reaches our 

 sanctum. ^ 



How it makes our pulse throb, bow it makes 

 our hearts dance ! 

 V.'e outwardly thank him, we inwardly bless 

 him — 

 The steady subscriber who pays in advance. 

 — EfUnhnnih ^i^niittrl. 



A REAL ASSET 



Some Shot 



An Irishman who wasn't much of a hunter 

 went out to hunt one day and the first thing 

 he saw to shoot at was a bird sitting saucily 

 on the top of a fence. He blazed away and then 

 walked over to pick up the victim. What he 

 happened to find there was a dead frog, which 

 he raised at arm's length, looking at it with a 

 puzzled air. Finally he remarked : 



"Well, but ye was a deuce of a foine looking 

 burd befur Oi blew the flthers off o' ye !" 



Habits of the Hired Man 



;et 



"Well, did them moving picture people 

 pictures of everything on the farm?" 



"Everything but the hired man," said Farmer 

 Heck. "They couldn't ketch him in motion." — - 

 Kn)itiiiii Citil Jnin-iwl. 



The Veteran: Young man, never forget that a pile of -well manufactured and cared for hardwood lumber is just as good an 

 asset as cash in bank. 



Losing Faith 



Old Lady — "I don't believe this sure-cure 

 tonic is a-goin' to do me any good." 



Friend — "It's highly spoken of in the papers." 

 Old Lady — "Yes ; but I've taken forty-seven 

 bottles and I don't feel a bit better. I tell you 

 what it is, Sarah, I'm beginning to think these 

 newspaper editors don't know ererything." — 

 New York Weeldy. 



Appreciation 



It is reported that a certain musician dis- 

 gusted with the chattering that usually takes 

 the place of listening during a musical perform- 

 ance, arranged with his violin, his violoncello 

 and the rest that the music should suddenly 

 stop in the midst of the loudest passage in the 

 piece. 



It was done, and, clear and distinct ahove 



all the loud talkers' voices, these words were 

 heard ; "We always fry ours in lard !" 



Pointed! 



A man with plenty of ginger is likely to have 

 snaps. 



"No, I don't like onions or garlic," said the 

 plumber, "but I get fat on leeks." 



It is dangerous, even In a ballroom, to step 

 on a moving train. 



—19— 



