24 



HARDWOOD RECORD 



Verts Pertinent and Impertinent 



Flanuiug the Opera Season 

 Let Monday be the social gala nigbt ; 

 Let the parterre with .icwcls glitter bright ; 

 No matter what the opera may be, 

 If but Caruso sounds the lofty C, 

 And shapely dancers twirl their lingerie. 



I'or Gallic works let Tuesday night be set ; 

 Our Mary (Oscar's once) she pirouette 

 As Juggler Joan, or glide as Melisande, 

 While Campanini wields his magic wand. 



On other nights the good old repertory — 

 "Alda," "Traviata," "Trovatore" ; 

 Or, once a month, some brand-new work decree. 

 To prove how enterprising we can be — 

 Something ffom Brussels, Petersburg, or Prague, 

 But nothing native — shun that like the plague ! 



Let the Italians have the greater share, 



And let Hcrr Wagner's operas be rare ; 



Save that on certain Fridays during Lent, 



To show how truly we are penitent. 



Let "Parsifal" its trumpet motif sound, 



Calling the Grail Knights to their solemn round. 



Let Saturday remain the happy day 

 When girlish throngs frequent the matinee. 

 To hear, with thrills unknown to callous man, 

 Farrar as Mignon or as Cio-Cio-San. 



On Sunday to direct our thoughts toward Heaven, 

 Kach week a "sacred concert" should be given ; 

 Don't fail to make the programme bright and 



catchy 

 With bits from "Tosca," "Faust" and "Pagli- 



acci." 



— K. H. Titherington. 



Use Without Abuse 



I would not say to man : "Forbear 

 To use the things God putteth here.' 

 But rather would I say to man : 

 "Use in fruition of a plan ; 

 Take then these gifts God giveth thee— 

 The golden fruit, the mighty tree. 

 All pleasant things the fields produce— 

 And render them to proper use ; 

 And, in return, one thing I ask. 

 One simple, easy, proper task : 

 That which from nature you efface 

 With its own seedling life replace. 

 And cherish all the gifts of God, 

 To serve the ends of brotherhood." 



The early Christmas shopper avoids the crowd. 



The Return of the Prodigal 



It is to be hoped that there is no mistake in identity. 



The Worst Was Yet to Come 



A southern pulpit orator one Sunday morning 

 was describing the experience of the prodigal 

 son. In his endeavor to Impress his hearers 

 with the shame and remorse that this young 

 man felt and his desire to cast away his wicked 

 doings, be spoke thus : 



"Dls young man got to thinking about his 

 meanness and his misery and he tuk off his coat 



end frowed it away. And den he tuk off his vest 

 and frowed Uat away. And den be tuk off his 

 shirt and frowed dat away, too. And den he 

 come to hlsself." — Ladles' Home Journal. 



What has become of the old-fashloncd man 

 who went home to dinner (not lunch) every day 

 at noon, and told what he had on his return? 



Bread Winners 



Daddy's in the counting-house, 



Earning bread and honey — 

 Mamma's In the drawing-room, 



Playing bridge for money ; 

 Cook is in the kitchen, 



Keady to "give warning," 

 And there won't even be a "black bird" 



For breakfast In the morning. — Lifb. 



