HARDWOOD RECORD 



27 



Vert, Pertinent and Impertinent 



A Fact 

 Just when the pearl was waiting oue more plunge. 

 How many a struggle!- has llirown up the sponge; 

 And O how true, when sliades of doubt dismay, 

 'Tis often darkest Just befori' tlie break of day. 

 A little more persistence, courage, vim, 

 Success will datcn o'er fortune's cloudy rim. 



Then take this honey for the bitterest cup. 

 There is no failure save in giving up ; 

 No real fall as long as one still tries, 

 l''or seeming set-backs make the .strong man wise. 

 There's no defeat, in truth, save from within, 

 Unless you're beaten there, you'ri^ bound to win. 



— Anux. 



Forest Conservation Notes 



"lias anyone in this audience ever done any- 

 thing for forestry?" in stentorian tones asked the 

 lecturer. 



"Yes, I have." vouchsafed a meek-looking in- 

 dividual. "I once shot a woodpecker." 

 « « * 



"Are you an advocate of forestry';" asked a 

 young man of the summer girl. 



"Surely I am." she replied. "If the frees were 

 all destroyed we would have no place to hang 

 our hammocks." 



* « * 



Dlggs — I see that they're making brandy from 

 sawdust. 



Wlggs — Good gracious, as It the forests were 

 not disappearing fast enough as it Is! 



• • • 



"What is .\rbor day?" 



"That's the day wc set out trees to cut down 

 on Chrisliwas." 



Acrostic 

 Waulou winds wounding wayfarers. 

 Inclement interval inviting indoors. 

 Naked nature nonchalnnlly narcotic. 

 Tempestuous temperature temorariously threat- 

 ening. 

 Kxhausted earth etiolating externally. 

 Kigorous recess radically refrigeratory. 



The Modern ToWer ofBabel 



Too many standards of hardwood inspection. 



Sounded Queer 

 "I'm shopping early," lisped the little girl in 

 the big department store, "an' I want to see some 

 of those things that folks sleep in." 



"Oh, you mean pajamas," said the polite clerk. 

 "No, I don't want tbem for pa, I want them 

 for ma. I reckon you'd call them majamas." 

 Caution 



"What makes you keep singing when you go 

 into the woods?" said one hunter. "Don't you 

 know it will frighten the deer?" 



"Perhaps," replied the other. "Rut it will 

 also help to prevent my being mistaken for 

 one." — Washington. Star. 



Push Business 



Some people are always busy. They make for 

 themselves business when the outlook Is dull. 

 They anticipate the quiet season by seeking new 

 avenues of trade. In a word, they push their 

 claims for trade. If not occupied with real in- 

 come-producing trade, the alert one is busy lo- 

 cating possible new customers. The manly trades- 

 man seeks not to take away a satisfied patron 

 of a rival ; he seeks the dissatisfied and urges 

 his attention by superior wares, more courteous 

 and patient treatment and untiring effort to 

 please. __ 



Sorry He Spoke 



Mr. Snapp — What a spectacle that Mrs. De 

 Coitay was, sitting there In the box without a 

 thing on her shoulders. 



Mrs. Snapp — Nothing on her shoulders? Why 

 .Tohn Snapp, your eyes weren't off them five min- 

 utes while we were in the theater. — Boston Trarv- 

 script. 



The trouble with Santa Claus Is that he is too 

 much a respecter of persons. 



Every one who thinks strongly raises a 

 scandal. 



