28 



HARDWOOD RECORD 



Vert, Pertinent and Impertinent 



The Hikers 



We moved in last Noveiiibi'i- 

 And distinctly I remember 



'Twas the steam licat tbat she wanted 

 And sbe said ; 

 She was crazy in addition 

 For a dining room in mission 



And tbc den was simply perfect. 

 Being red. 



Xow she's weary of Ihe mission 

 Dining room. It's her aml>ition 



To serve ham and eggs in oni- witb 

 Paneled walls ; 



Afid sii'' wiinis a bedroom pink. 

 And a wider kitchen sink. 



And some blue and yellow paper 

 In the halls. 



Every auiumn, every spring. 

 Just like birds we're on the wing. 



For a change in decorations- 

 We go hiking : 



And I'll gamble when she dii-s 

 That her mansion in the skies 



Won't, be finished just exactly 

 T.i her liking, 



— Detroit J'icc I'rcss. 



The March Wind 



There is a rude old fellow so blustering and 



rough 

 That if you chance to meet him you'll need your 



coat and muff. 

 I"or he will pinch your fingers, if he can find 



them out, 

 .\nd slap your cheeks and forehead and fling your 



curls about. 

 .\nd yet we like this fellow, for spring is close 



behind ; 

 So hip hurrah for every day that brings the rude 



March wind ! 



Stumpage Values Going Ahead 



Lumber prices tramping away in the rear. 



As He Always Is 

 "I always agree with my husband.' 

 "Very sweet of you." 

 "Except, of course, when be is In the wron!: 



Educated 



An Ingenious Explanation 



"Why do you scream when you see a mouse';' 



"Eecause of my humane disposition," repliiil 



Miss Cayenne. "I scream so as to giv.' \\\.- 



mouse a chance lo run away befori' 1 f.-ill on ii 



and destroy it." — Uiixhiiir/toii Star. 



General Prosperity 



"Things are booming in the old town. Had ti 

 move the chair factory." 

 "Why?" 

 "Standing room only." 



Cobwigser — "Why do you put uniy piniiies 

 away in your savings bank';" 



Freddie — "Itecause, when I tried nickels I'v- 

 erybody rattled them o\U for car fares." — tidlrir. 



To have a friend is lo have one of 

 gifts that life can bring; to be a 

 have a solemn and tender education 

 day to day. — Anna Hobertson lirown 



the sweetest 

 friend is u> 

 of soul from 



Partnership. 



Jlr. Lately Married— "Hut, dearest, I thought 

 we had planned to go to the opera this evening';" 



Mrs. Ditto — ■•Ves, love, but I have chani;ed our 

 mind." — Puck. 



Married men wouldn't mind the coming 

 Kasier so much it gowns and bonnets grew 

 iiee.s as iliiy did in .\dam's time. 



IIow shall a man learn to know himself? 

 Never by thinking about it ; but by action he 

 surely ma.v. Try to do your duty, and you will 

 Know at once what is in you. But what is your 

 duty? To fulfill the demands of todav. — Goethe. 



It takes a liundred cents to make a dollar, 

 but ic takes more than a dollar's worth of .sense 

 lo make a man. 



