^g bRat>^>^:^^^^i.^y,^liic^i^^vA-i^i-y'v.v-vj^yio^5!^^^ 



Pert^ Pertinent and Impertinent 



it« 



N.w V.'ik twit 



Chicago for her pork. 

 Anil l>otb ^i-t back a mm 



At moDey mad N 



rk. 



In the Family 



iiillv 



And I'hiladflphia drowses. 



ISoih tlInK their Joke.^i at ollini 



Though living in !;la»s hons 



l:iii lit disuslei- .strike a l)low — 

 The cities stand together I 



Ifivnis. "lis true, when skies arc blue. 

 They're one in stormy weather. 



St. I.ouls sc-offs at ritlsburgli s snot. 

 But Pittsburgh holds her mvn. 



Pausing to scan .Missouri's num. 

 Who always "must bo shown." 



"i'wcre harder to withhold our .iest. 



i>ur free, good natured joking. 

 Than for the west to take a rest 



Or Pittsburgh leave off smoking. 



EASY GOING AHEAD 



So, Uncle Sam. do not mistake 

 Tby children's comments free ; 



i>ur taunts and chaff are but a laugb, 

 All in a family. 

 ---If. /(. I. ill tlir .Yfir VorA- Tiib 



Not Even a Cent's Worth 

 "I Dtt'ifd Chollie a pinny for his thouglns. 

 "Did .vou get them 7" 

 "No. he was out of thoughts as usual." 



- lioslun Kirninij Trnnifiniit. 



The Dependable Sort 

 "To look at old .Mr. Crahson you wouldn't 

 think he bad a friend In the world." 



"That's true, and yet he has a million of 

 them." 

 "Where?" 

 "In one of the local banks." 



— Birmingham Aye-IIeratd. 



Memory 

 Somebody of a psychological turn of mind once 

 a.sked Lord Roseberry. "What is memory?" 



"Memory." Ftoseberry replied, iiromptly, but 

 .somewhat pensively, "memory is the feeling that 

 steals over us when we listen to our friends' 

 original stories." 



--r.oiKl'jir TUBUS. 



Bought It for Casli 

 Marks — "What did you gain In your deal with 

 Hrown?" 



I'arks — "A great deal of respect for Brown's 

 business ability." 



— Boston Erenint) Trantcrlpt. 



way tile nardwood situation looks to the majority 



Be Happy 

 If yi.iu would be merry, and ba|»py aud gay. 

 .lust put on a smile and command it to stay : 

 Hring up reserve forces, put them all into play. 

 Then just keep them busy the rest of the day. 



And then the next day the smile will just come. 

 And you will hear music — the air will just hum ; 

 The folks all around you will quit looking glum. 

 And forget in their joy that lite ever was bua. 



A Valuable Pointer 

 Ki.bi-rt r. Whituiir. the giuial prisident of 

 Win. Whitmer *: Sons u( Philadelphia, takes 

 iireat pride in his farm and stock. Just now 

 he has :i hunting dog, of the prowess of which 

 he speaks in glowing terms. 'The other day he 

 told the writer ot this article a story so excep- 

 tional that It inspired the composition of the 

 following : 



Bob. Wbitmer has a "pointer," 



As you perbiips have heard. 

 .Vnd from the stories that he tells 



It really is a "bird." 



Kor if. when "pointing" a "Bob-White. ' 



Vou turn It from the <|uail. 

 It casts one backward glance, and then — • 



/( "points it" irith its tail: 



both ends of this dojr point 



Remarkable if True 

 "Tbat case ot Wedderby's is the most remark- 

 able one I ever beard of." 



"It is not so strange. Many another man 

 has stolen «o0.000 from a bank." 



•'I know. But Wedderby didn"t lose It specu- 

 lating in stocks or spend it on a woman."" 

 That's AU 



"Sure, Mr. Clancy, you've a foinc lot of sons." 

 "It's right ye ar.\ Mrs. Mulligan. I never 

 have to lift my hand to them except in self- 

 defense." 



More to the Point 



"Of course you favor an elastic currency." 

 "Yes," replied (Jrandpa Mintlicker: "but I"d 

 like to sec some o' that good old-fashioned elas- 

 ticity that 'ud enable a two-dollar bill to reach 

 all the way around a family market basket." — 

 ir(i.s/iin.vtun 8tai: 



Point of View 



"The point of view makes a great deal of 

 difference." said the ready made philosopher. 



"Yes," replied Mr. Chuggins. "When you are 

 walking you think every automobile is trying to 

 hit you. When you are driving a car you get an 

 idea that every pedestrian Is Insanely ambitious 

 to :;et run nvvr." - -^^'n)fhi»!lton stnr. 



—19— 



