HARDWOOD RECORD 



Vert, Pertinent and Impertinent. 



15 



Early History. 

 ''Yes. tbat is America, sure enougb "' 



Said Columbus to bis crew. 

 As tbe happy band beheld the land 



Rise out of the ocean blue. 

 "Is it North or South America. Chris?" 



Inquired a sailor chap ; 

 And the answer was : "I think It is, 



But we'll know when we see the map." 



— The Historian. 



The Frog. 

 Our laws protect each one of us 



From loss of life or limb. 

 The frog's legs are not made safe thus — 

 The law protects not him! 

 Of his flesh (neither fowl nor fish) 

 We are extremely fond — 

 A frog's leg in the chafing-dish 

 Is worth two in the pond. 



—Walter King Stone. 



What Followed. 

 Mary had a little lamb — 



The story is not new. 

 What happened in her later years 



Is known to very few. 



She met a man w r ho wanted her 

 To wed him. and she did. 



They lived together happily, 

 And Mary had a kid. 



Silence. 

 Silence often cov- 

 rs a bunch of igno- 

 ince. 



Foolish Worm. 

 If the worm hadn't 

 een up at an unsea- 

 (liable hour, he 

 ouldn't have been 

 lught by the early 

 ird. 



1 the Game of Life. 

 Diamonds are 

 ■umps in the game 

 I life only when a 

 an gets a good deal. 



Faith. 



Even those who 

 ive infinite faith in 

 ankind rarely leave 

 leir umbrellas in the 

 mrch vestibule. 



The Rider. 



The man who rides 

 hobby thinks he is 



ititled to the mid- 



:e of the road. 



It's True. 



Chicago men spend 

 lout two-thirds of 

 leir time in catch- 

 g cold and trying 

 cure it. 



Up to Date. 



It's not ordinarily 

 part of the pride of 

 e up-to-date woman 

 ,at her husband is 

 e latest thing out. 



Very Few. 

 Few men are 

 hamed of their acts 

 often as they 

 ould be. 



THE NEW SCHOOL OF LUMBERING. 



|At the annual meeting of the National Lumber Manufacturers' Association, held at Chi 

 capo on May 9 and 10, it was resolved to lend its aid to the endowment of a chair of lumbering 

 at Yale University.] 



PRACTICAL WOODS WORK. 

 Professor— Now, young- g-entlemen, when the ang-le of declination of the bole of this 

 per nnial woody plant reaches never mind the scientific exposition— scoot! 



Not Proof. 

 You can't always 

 judge a man's worth 

 by what a woman 

 values it at in a 

 breach of promise 

 suit. 



Marvelous. 

 It is indeed strange 

 that there are so 

 many great men liv- 

 ing today whose 

 fathers ' wives never 

 had an opportunity 

 to attend a mothers' 

 congress. 



Bad Evidence. 

 You can't most al- 

 ways tell what a wo- 

 man thinks of a man 

 by what she says to 

 him or about him. 



It 



Kindred. 



is a peculiar 



thing that highballs 

 are regarded a pana- 

 cea for low spirits. 



Which? 

 It is just as liable 

 to be cautiousness as 

 consideration that 

 debars a man from 

 ever speaking harshly 

 to his wife. 



A Long Felt Want. 

 A lumber associa- 

 tion that would give 

 a banquet at ten 

 cents a plate would 

 fill a long felt want. 



The Air Ship. 

 Everything is high- 

 er than it was ten 

 years ago except the 

 air ship. 



Good Gospel. 

 Xo timber should be cut that does not 

 alize a profit to all concerned; no tree 

 ould he cut for which there is no market 

 r all its products. There will come a time 

 inn every tree and each and every part 

 the tree will be needed, and sorely 



needed. That time is not so far distant :is 

 some think. — Hoquiast Washixgtoniax. 



The True Wisdom. 

 Childhood must pass away and then 

 youth, as surely as age approaches. The 

 true wisdom is to be always seasonable, and 



to change with a good grace in changing 

 circumstances. To love playthings well as 

 a child, to lead an adventurous and honor- 

 able youth, and to settle when the time ar- 

 rives, into a green and smiling age, is to 

 be a good artist in Jife and deserve well of 

 yourself and your neighbor. 



Eobert Louis Stevenson. 



