HARDWOOD RECORD 



'5 



Vert, Pertinent and Impertinent. 







The automobile owner crawled 



With haste into his car 

 And sail] good-bye, for he whs called 



To travel fast and fai 



Hfe grasped the steering wheel with glee 

 Ami gave the clutch a yank, 



And then, with objurgations, he 

 Climbed down again to crank. 



Ii o o o o o o o o 



An "Auto" Idyl. 



Again he mounted to the seal 



Piepared like wind to fly. 

 v.i there he lingered in the strei I 



The watei tank was dry. 



!!'■ filled the tank it seemed :i cinch 



Once m he starts to chauff, 



Behold he does not mn\ e an inch 

 The differential's off. 



In ragi he toils with might and main 



Till In- is faint and weak 

 Again he starts and stops again 



The tire's sprung a leak 



o o t 



The similes of night ore Tailing fast, 



But joy illumes his brow, 

 II shunts ahead his troubles past 



Pray who ran catch him now'.' 



Ami yet. arouml the corner, we 

 May find the same machine; 



Its owner is not there, for he 

 Has gum for gasoline. — W. of O. 



OOOOOOl 



Compensation. 

 Happiness is the 

 ieu art] I't' being com- 

 monplace. 



Not Edible. 

 Don't turret thai 

 :t hungry man can t 

 eat advice. 



AN IMPORTANT QUESTION. 



Aimed Too High. 

 Many a man has 

 failed to make a hit 

 because lie aimed 



Inn high. 



The Blues. 

 Women think men 

 have no right to the 

 blues, regarding that 

 privilege as exclu- 

 si\ ely feminine. 



Sensible Borrowing. 

 What's the use of 

 borrowing trouble as 

 limy as yon ean bor- 

 row money ! 



Soldiering. 

 The man who kills 

 I mm slays h is own 

 character. 



The Knocker. 

 Every knock one 



ma n gi\ i's another is 

 intended as a boost 

 no himself. 



True. 

 When a man com- 

 bines business with 

 pleasure business 



usually yets t he shorl 

 ■ ■mi of it. 



On the Road. 

 ■ ■ 1 ncidental ex- 

 I enses "covet a mul 



iilinle of sinful 

 items, 



The Preface. 



Alone about six 

 months after mar- 

 riage a man realizes 

 that courtship is but 

 the preface to hard- 

 ship. 



Life. 

 Life is a riddle; we 

 can 't o-iioss it — there 



fine we must all give 

 it up. 



Wrongly Blamed. 



Whisky often gets 

 the credil for making 

 tools of men who 

 were born foolish. 



Wise Procrastination. 

 Never do any wor- 

 rying- today that j mi 

 ran just as well posi 

 pone until tomorrow. 



Open Acknowledg- 

 ment. 



When a man mar 

 ries for money it's 

 equivalent to an ad- 

 mission on his part 

 thai he could not gel 

 ii a ny at her way. 



Just a Trifle! 



Must of the things 

 that come tn those 

 who wait are a trifle 

 ■-tali' by the t i mi- they 



arrive. 



The Test. 

 A man is not beat 

 en as long as he 's not 

 'lisi raged. 



Is there a hardwood lumber association that is prepared to take my hand and 

 guarantee me a square deal ? 



A Comparison. 



A u ulna n 'S heart is 

 like a trolley ear — al- 

 ways room tin 

 more. 



'I'le splendid, big machine Hits past. 



With little i nisi, hum shaft nr gear; 

 Well-planned ami powerful and fast. 



Its whir falls lightly mi tin ear 



Automobile and Man. 



Willi heavy chug and rasping elank 

 Tim poorlj maiii machine goes by, 



Proclaiming its Inferior rank 

 Ami failing « here the hills am high 



Ami thus it is witli men: the cheap 



And noisy ones are not the I, 



That triumph where the hills are 



And easy ways ar< hard in find. 



