HARDWOOD RECORD 



15 



Vert, Pertinent and Impertinent. 



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What You Can Be. 

 l'on may uot be a millionaire, 

 You may not l>" a seer ; 



Nor yet a notable success. 



So far as things appear. 

 You may not wear fame's laurel crov. 



you may be on the shell", 

 Bui if you would be sure of friends 



Why, always be — yourself. 

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Don't Boast. 

 The hen that cackles loudest 



Doesn't lay the largest eggs ; 

 ill.' mule thai kicks the hardesl 



Hasn't got the neatest legs : 



Tile waves that toss the wildest 



Are not of the deepest sea ; 

 The fruit that is the sweetest 



Nut on the tallest tree; 

 The dog whose bark is fiercest 



Doesn't always know the mosl : 

 And the man that is the bravest 



Isn't always ou the beast. 



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 So, There! 



The world is better nowadays 



Than fifty years ago. 

 I know and there arc many ways 



That give me cause to know. 

 Ay. though you pick a scon- of flaws 



Since twoscore years and ten, 

 1 say 'tis better now — because 



You were not in it then I 

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As Many Do. 



Satan does not ob- 

 jecl to men going to 

 church on Sunday it 

 they work lor him 

 the remainder of the 

 week. 



His Excuse. 



The man that is al- 

 ways turning over a 

 new leaf evidently 

 believes that one 

 good turn deserves 

 a aother. 



Either. 

 . A man is either 

 taken aback by crit- 

 icism or else lie takes 

 affront. 



A Boy's Definition. 

 The spinal column 

 is the long bony 

 tiling tiiat runs up 

 and down the back; 

 your head sits on one 

 end and you sit on 

 the other. 



Easier and Pleas- 

 anter. 



it is easier for 

 some men to make 

 [ove than it is for 

 them to make a liv- 

 ing. 



Just So. 



It 's just: as neces- 

 sary to know when 

 to forego an advan- 

 tage as it is to know 

 when to grasp an op- 

 portunity. 



The Reason. 

 Some people pose 

 1 >ait lily saints 

 merely because they 

 are too -1 ingy to pay 

 for an oceasioi a 

 good time. 



THEY DON'T WANT MUCH. 



Retail Building Woods Man: We demand the business 

 consumers. 



Hardwood Manufacturer: You don't know what you are talking about 

 enough to attend to with, your own business? Go on and peddle your papers ! 



the wholesale hardwood 

 Haven't you 



True. 

 After a man has 

 made up his mind he 

 begins to ask advice. 



Easier 



It 's much easier to 



break into a game 

 than it is to back 

 out again. 



Deplorable State. 

 Our credit is in- 

 deed 1, a. 1 when we 

 feel that « e can in, I 

 trust ourselves. 



Naturally. 

 The man with a 

 wooden lee naturally 

 has a lumbering ga ii . 



Hard to Please. 



The average man 

 doesn '1 know what 

 he wants until he 

 ca 11 't get it. 



Always. 

 We always see the 

 worst of people when 

 we fail to get the 

 best of them. 



Little Risk. 

 When a 111:111 ad- 

 mits that be doesn't 

 like grand opera or 

 doesn't understand 

 Browning it 's pretty 

 sale to go his bond. 



The Winner. 



Time Hies, I111I nut, 

 a- East as iy. 



Unfortunately. 

 All musical cranks 

 are mil attached to 

 hand organs. 



Difficult Job. 



It 's about ali some 



] pie (an .I keep 



tv 1 eing dune. 



I fare on my own sweet way. 

 Choose my time to work or play. 

 I don't care what others say. 



Let 'em say. 

 As I please I'll run or walk. 

 Push right through or jump or balk 

 Don't care how the neighbors talk. 



Let 'em talk. 



"Declaration of Independence. 



I do what I want to do : 



.May he wrong and foolish, too. 



I don't care for 'pish" and "pooh." 



Let 'em pooh. 

 Though they think I'm mighty queer, 

 Though I hey nudge and wink and sneer, 

 What care 1 i.ii- frown or jeer? 



Let 'em jeer. 



Truckling isn't worth my while. 

 Furthermore, it's not my style. 

 11 me ways make people smile, 



Let em smile. 

 What 1 like, that's what I'll 

 Hack my friends through thin and thick. 

 I 1 1 1 ilea's want to kick, 



Let 'em kick. 



