"iminsiw^ 



Tales of the Trade 



THE LETTER THAT HE LOOKED FOR NEVER CAME 



M. F. Greene of the Davidson, Hieks & Greene Company, Nash- 

 ville, Tenn., is noted among his friends as a great "home man," 

 being devoted to his family and caring little for clubs or any 

 species of "high life." 



A number of years ago, several Nashville lumbermen were 

 attending a lumbermen's convention in Cincinnati and on invita- 

 tion of their hosts attended a dance "Over the Ehine. " One of 

 the boys was having a pretty good time when his fair partner 

 asked him for a card and opening his card case the first thing he 

 came across was one bearing the inscription " M. F. Greene," 

 which he immediateh' passed out as his own. 



On returning to Nashville he mentioned this to Mr. Greene, 

 -further stating that she promised to write soon and for months 

 whenever Mr. Greene's spouse mentioned to him on his return home 

 at night that she had received a letter that day he was seized 

 with an acute attack of stage fright, feeling that it would take 

 all of his previous good habits to square him and even then he had 

 lingering doubts. 



However, he escaped and though he still retains the name of 

 his persecutor on his list of friends he states that there were times 

 when he seriously considered dropping the name of a prominent 

 lumberman from his roll. 



AN ORATOR FROM THE BEGINNING 



A good many ye^s ago when John W. Love of Love, Boyd & 

 Co., Nashville, Tenn., was attending high school in his native city, 

 he made a statement to the professor in whose class he happened 

 to be at that moment, that he knew the answer to a certain ques- 

 tion propounded to him hut could not answer it. The professor 

 came back at him with the statement that we have all heard under 

 similar circumstances, that if anyone knew anything he could tell 

 it and immediately asked John if he knew anything about the 

 game of baseball. The latter replied that he did and was requested 

 to come to the platform and with chalk and pointer explain to the 

 class all about the game. He was promised to be given what time 

 was needed, it being the professor's evident intention to "rattle" 

 young Johnnie before the girls. 



Mr. Love promptly accepted the invitation and started in with 

 an eloquent preface eulogizing the national pastime and then drew 

 diagrams, cuts, explanatory lines and figures until the board was 

 thoroughly covered and finally several hours later closed with a 

 peroration that is remembered to this Aay by his admiring class- 

 mates and it was noticed that the same professor never called 

 upon him again for a like service. 



John modestly claims that he never made another speech as 

 good as that one until he stumped Nashville for Bryan several 

 years later. 



A HOT RIDE 



H. C. Newton of the Booraem-Powell Lumber Company, Minne- 

 apolis, recently related to some of his friends what he claims was 

 the hottest experience of his life. 



While in his teens at his home in "Wisconsin he was out with 

 a crowd one night coasting on a steep hill, probably a mile in 

 length, and one of the boys dared him to make the trip, down the 

 hijl on a big scoop shovel. "Newt" felt that to refuse was to 

 lose his prestige with a certain girl who was present and he readily 

 consented to make the trip. 



Sitting in the bowl of the shovel and gripping the handle he 

 was started off with a vigorous shove and states that from the 

 moment of departure the temperature began to rise rapidly owing 

 to the friction of the shovel on the glassy surface. He discovered 

 smoke curling above his shoulders when about half way down but 

 there was nothing to do but finish the trip, which he did, but 

 was compelled to let someone else take his girl home as he could 

 not comfortably sit in the sleigh. 



Mr. Newton ate his meals from the mantel piece for a couple 



—42— 



of weeks and further states that he has always had a fellow feel- 

 ing for Buster Brown's "Tige" when the latter sat down in the 

 hot glue. 



SOME THINGS "DO MOVE" 



S. M. Borgess of the Steele & Hibbard Lumber Company, St. 

 Louis, on his first trip to Minnc.ipolis several years ago, was sit- 

 ting in the ofiBce of a customer on one of the upper floors of the 

 Lumber Exchange. In Minneapolis it is well known that this 

 building sways so much that pictures on the walls shake visibly 

 and there are some rooms in which the door knobs have worn 

 depressions in the plaster from continual swaying back and forth. 



On this particular morning the wind was blowing and the build- 

 ing was on a good old move, and the customer soon noticed a 

 vague look of amazement and then consternation overspread the 

 usually calm and placid features of the St. Louis man. He rose, 

 apologized, and said to his customer that he would have to go to 

 the hotel, as he was experiencing a dizzy feeling which was not at 

 all natural to him. The customer, who had been up against the 

 same experience before, explained the matter and Mr. Borgess 

 decided to stay, although it was noticed that during the balance of 

 the interview he sat with a pretty tight grip on both sides of his 

 chair. He now claims that the Lumber Exchange has no terrors 

 for him; in fact, many of his best orders come from that building. 



THE SAME OLD TROUBLE 



E. Payson Smith of the Payson Smith Lumber Company, Min- 

 neapolis, while visiting in Chicago a few months ago put up at a 

 leading hotel in the center of the lobby of which was a large 

 fountain. 



While talking to a friend the latter called Mr. Smith's attention 

 to a particularly attractive member of the fair sex who had just 

 passed. 



Mr. Smith looked around and continued to walk with his friend, 

 and in a moment was afloat in the fountain. He was rescued with 

 little difiiculty, owing, no doubt, to his coming from Minneapolis, 

 which is known as a city of beautiful lakes. It being his morning 

 custom to run down to the lake near his house, attired in a 

 bathing suit covered by a bath robe, "Payson" says he really 

 felt at home. 



It has been suggested by close friends who have watched his 

 career with a great deal of pride and delight that when viewing 

 the fair sex again he provide himself with a life preserver. 



Record Set for Foreign Commerce 



The foreign commerce of the United States has just established 

 a remarkable record for the fiscal year now ended. The total 

 value of the merchandise entering and leaving the country in 

 foreign trade aggregates four billion dollars. The value of manu- 

 factures exported is more than one billion dollars, and the value 

 of non-dutiable merchandise coming in is a round billion. 



The principal articles forming the one billion dollars' worth of 

 duty free merchandise imported during the fiscal year of 1912 are 

 foodstuffs and manufactured materials. Of the more than ono 

 billion dollars' worth exported during the year, those of iron and 

 steel aggregated about $275,000,000 in value; copper and mineral 

 oils each more than $100,000,000; leather and manufactures of 

 leather about $60,000,000, and cotton manufactures about 

 $50,000,000. 



The furniture folks are looking as cheerful as if posing for a 

 picture of good times ahead. It's a pretty good time to ask for 

 a fair profit on lumber when you meet them. 



The day is right close to us when the thing we called the slab 

 pile yesterday will help pile up the profits of tomorrow, and to 

 waste good material even in a slab will be considered sinful. 



