HARDWOOD RECORD 



15 



Pert, Pertinent and Impertinent. 



The man who wins in the fight for fame, 



Who wins in the war tor gold. 

 The welliin rings with his lauded name 



Wherever his deeds are told. 

 Not mine to jeer when I hear him hailed ; 



I'm proud of his heart so stout — 

 i;\it what of the fellow who tried and failed. 



The fellow that's "down and out" '.' 



Down and Out. 



Shall naught be said for the man who tried 



The goal of his hopes to gain ; 

 Who faced the battle with patient pride 



And fought though the fight was vain : 

 Whose spirit in one weak moment quailed, 



Who fell at the last redoubt? 

 Ah. man.v a hero heart has failed — 



So here's to the "down and out" ! 



'i'he man who wins, oh, honor him well. 



And give him the praise that's due, 

 I!ut don't forget the other who (ell 



Ere ever his dreams came true ; 

 Ves, honor the man whose will prevailed. 



Who baffled despair and doubt — 

 lUit give one thought to the man who failed, 



Tht' fellow that's "down and out" ! 



— Denis A. McCarthy. 



WELCOME TO THE BOARD WALK ! 



Scene at Atlantic City: Tenth Annual Meeting National Hardwood Lumber Association, May 23 and 24, 1907. 



•What's the Use? 

 Doubtless early to bed 



And early to rise 

 Will do very well 



For sicli folks and guys : 

 But it makes a man miss 



All the fun till he dies 

 And joins other stiffs 



Who have gone to the skies, 

 tio to bed when you like, 



And lie at your ease — 

 You'll die, just the same, 



1)1 some Latin disease ! 



Bare. 



Hail to the graduating girl I 

 She's sweeter far than some : 



For she's allowed to use no slang 

 And chew no chewing gum. 



Canceled. 



If you lend money here and there 

 To friends both far and wide. 



When you pay nature's last great debt 

 They'll all be glad you've died. 



— Houston Post. 



No Pass. 



The editor 



Sat in a train 

 And murmured in 



A tone of pain : 

 "Of all sad words 



In times like these, 

 The very worst 



Are 'tickets, please !' " 



■Virtue. 



"Virtue is not known by its exemption 

 from trial, but by its victory in trial." 



A Bad Bep. 



Many a man has been ruined by acci- 

 dentally getting a reputation for being a 

 good fellove and trying to live up to it. 



Life. 



The life of every man is a diary in 

 which he means to write one story, but in- 

 variably writes a far different one. 



To Be Old. 



Drink from when 



You start to walk. 

 Chew from when 



You start to talk. 



Eat whatever 



Strikes you right. 

 Frolic and 



Stay out all night. 



Be one of 



The careless throng. 

 Wine and woman. 



Rout and song. 



These hundred- 



Y'ear-old duffers say 

 That they all 



Spent life that-a-way. 



— HonsTOx Post. 



The Little Hindoo. 



Here's to the little Hindoo, 

 Who does all that he kin do ; 



Away off there with naught to wear. 

 He makes his little skin do. 



