i8 



HARDWOOD RECORD 



How Things HaVe Changed. 



By VAN B. PERRINE 



Out here in Indiana, sa> some thirty years ago, 

 When you had cut your logs all up, to Chicago p'raps you'd go, 

 And there you'd sell your lumber to a jobber on the spot, 

 Who'd clean you up — buy everything^ — ^no matter what you'd got! 

 He didn't care about the wood, or how the boards were made; 

 He had the money every time — the cash, spot down, he paid. 

 Of course, they had inspection rules to measure lumber by, 

 You read them up, you read them down; you'd try and try and try 

 To figure out how you were "done"^ — the more that you reflected 

 The plainer the solution seemed — 'twas "how it was inspected." 



Next time you'd send your lumber East, most any place that way, 

 But soon you'd get a kick, in which commission men would say 

 That yard men found it graded low, but that, without a doubt, 

 They'd sent a bigger payment if you'd left the common out. 

 Next car you'd send the same old place, encouraged by such talk. 

 And mark the feet on every board, real plain, with nice, white chalk. 

 *Twas cherry lumber, clear and wide, that is, 'twas clear of knots. 

 But in New York they'd cull it down just for a few gum spots. 

 You'd ponder long on what was sent, and why it was rejected, 

 The sole idea your thinking brought^'twas "how it was inspected." 



Next, to old Philadelphia, to Quakers good and square, 

 You'd send your lumber — but alas, they had inspectors there! 

 The man -who put his rule across your boards, so clear and wide. 

 Could always find a knot or two, when turned the other side; 

 And then a little split, you know, would sometimes longer get; 

 However perfect stuff you sent, they'd find a flaw, you bet. 

 No matter where you shipped your boards — to this town or to that — 

 Though measured by a Quaker man, who wore a broad=brimmed hat, 

 Or by a Yankee, long and lean! Of course, there's no reflection 

 Meant on any town or rules — 'twas "diff'rence in inspection." 



INSPICCTION A'l I)K8TINATION. 



INSPECTION AS SHIPPED. 



Next time, you shipped to Boston town, where Yankees are so smart. 



But didn't find it paid you more than any other mart, 



iTho' let me say right here and now, for fear I might forget, 



That Boston is a d good place to send your lumber yet.) 



You shipped your product here and there, and shifted all around,^ 

 In hopes that finally, perhaps, some market could be found 

 Where rules were not in use that made your meagre profit flit 

 By grading down a board each time for tiny knot or split; 

 Where worm hole merel> visible was worse than "standard knot," 

 And boards that showed a little stain would "soon begin to rot." 



Of course, all this I'm talking of was many years ago— 



The mill man was an "easy mark," and also somewhat "slow." 



Of the last attribute, 1 grant, sometimes he's still accused. 



But for his "easy" traits, I'm sure he's rarely now abused. 



He used to book some special bills, so mighty hard to get, 



That if compelled to fill them out, he'd been a-sawing yet. 



They called for lumber wide and long, the sawing quite correct. 



And ended with the usual phrase — "Stock free from all defect." 



For this, of course, was years ago, before the man reflected. 



But now he turns them down, >ou know — he's seen a few inspected. 



Of late, things have been changed a lot-— associations made — 

 The mill man and the dealer, too, can sell on National grade, 

 And ship his lumber anywhere, to North or South or West, 

 The question's not locality, but where the price is best. 

 'Tis so in case he sends it East, as every place, you know- 

 In old New York or down in Maine -the National grades will go. 

 They only want (heir money's worth — they know what grades will be> 

 Inspection hasn't changed so much, as any one can see, 

 Now, read the next line very slow, and say it with inflection. 

 The National grade that goes to-day's old Indiana inspection! 



