HARDWOOD RECORD 



13 



Vert, Vertinent and Impertinent. 



If liis work won't stand inspection. 



He's a shine : 

 If he whines at each reflection, 



He's a shine : 

 If he puts a strong inflection 

 On his I's, there's some defection 

 In his cerebral collection — 



He's a shine. 



The S h i n e . 



If he always makes objection. 



He's a shine : 

 If he cannot stand correction. 



He's a shine : 

 If, through spirituous affection, 

 lie removes his recollection 

 After every big election, 

 He's a shine. 



If his life won't stand dissection. 



He's a shine : 

 If his wit is past detection. 



He's a shine : 

 If he shows a predilection 

 Toward abusive interjection 

 When he misses his connection. 



He's a shine. 



— Strickland W. Gillilan. 



The Same. 

 To bear defeat 

 with dignity is to 

 win a victory. 



■Whiners. 



T hose who com- 

 plain of life being a 

 burden are always a 

 burden to others. 



And Rightly. 

 Invariably he who 

 borrows trouble gets 

 the worst of the 

 transaction. 



Poor Bait. 



There are men who 

 make a specialty of 

 manufacturing prom- 

 ises on which they 

 hope to make money. 



A Comparison. 



Man may be 

 likened to a razor in 

 that he must be 

 thoroughly strapped 

 occasionally in order 

 to demonstrate how 

 sharp he is. 



How True. 



Money can be lost 

 in more ways than 



Some Consolation. 



The faint heart 

 that fails to win fair 

 lady may have 

 reason for self-con- 

 gratulation later in 

 the game. 



FIRE AND TAXES 



A Fact. 



It is easier to in- 

 duce two hearts to 

 beat as one than it is 

 to induce two mouths 

 to eat that way. 



Push. 



Pull often gets the 

 job, but it is usually 

 push that keeps it. 



To Be Avoided. 



Being under obli- 

 gations to a bad man 

 is about the same as 

 being obliged to be 

 bad. 



A Russian Provert. 



A debt is adorned 

 bj' payment. 



Versatile. 

 It is only an auc- 

 tioneer who can ad- 

 mire equally and im- 

 partially all schools 

 of art. 



■Why 'Worry? 

 Few can recall an 

 anticipated calamity 

 that actually came to 

 pass. 



■Wise Plan. 

 The great disregard 

 trifles. 



The Enemies 0! Practical Forestry. 



True. 



Too much publicity 

 has spoiled many a 

 good deed. 



Bad Sign. 



Signing your name 

 to a friend's note is 

 a bad sign. 



The Last the Best. 



If you have great talents be thankful; if 

 you have small talents be satisfied; if you 

 have only capacity for work, work for all 

 there is in it, and the results will not be dis- 

 appointing. 



One and the Same. 



Show us a man who can be trusted and we 

 will show you one who has a lot of debts. 



Good Advice. 

 Have enough arguments on hand to over- 

 come objections, but don't talk so much 

 that vour customer is unable to think. 



Stepping Stones. 



If nothing succeeds like success, it is be- 

 cause success begets self-confidence, and 

 self-confidence begets the confidence of 

 others. 



The Difference. 



A man loves a woman for the qualities 

 which she possesses which he admires in 

 women; a woman admires the characteristics 

 which a man possesses because she loves 



him. 



A Pessimist. 



' ' A pessimist is a man who, being offered 

 tlie choice of two evils, immediately and 

 eagerly seizes them both." 



