286 IOWA DEPARTMENT OF AGRICULTURE 



had a speech, but I haven't uow. I had a temperance speech, and 

 I was down here and found that I was not going to be . on the 

 program, and I traded it to Mr. Gelo for a year's subscription to 

 "Spirit of the West." He said they were going to have a tem- 

 perance meeting next week and he would like to have a tem- 

 perance speech. 



There are some queer things that happen occasionally. The 

 toastmaster and I were riding along in a street car this afternoon. 

 The car was pretty well crowded and the toastmaster was hanging 

 to a strap. The car gave a lurch and he fell over into a lady's 

 lap. She very indignantly gave him a push off and exclaimed, 

 ' ' What kind of a man are you ? ' ' He says, ' ' Why — when I came 

 in here I was an Irishman, but now I am a Laplander." 



There were two Irishmen. They were window washers. They 

 were up in the fifth story of a building washing the windows. Pat 

 was on the outside and Mike was on the inside. Pat made 

 a misstep and down he went the five stories onto the side- 

 walk. Mike rushes to the elevator and goes down. There is a 

 big crowd around Pat. Just then there was a doctor came up and 

 examined Pat. The doctor says, "He's dead." About this time 

 Pat began to come to and he said, "Be dad, an' I'm liot either." 

 Mike got there about that time and Mike said, "Pat, be quiet, 

 be quiet, the doctor knows best." 



The high cost of living has been knocked into a cocked hat and 

 eliminated by the good road boosters. Veterinaries are having a 

 busy time throughout the country transferring a hog cholera hog 

 into one that is immune. 



Out in the Avestern part of the state on the IMissouri bottoms 

 the hog has been dying with a new kind of cholera, which, for 

 want of a better name, is called "wakefulness." During the 

 rainy season the past few weeks the gumbo mud would gatber on 

 the hog's tail in such large quantities that the weight drew the 

 skin back so tight the hog could not shut its eyes and it died of 

 wakefulness. 



The present law prohibits the public use of the public drinking 

 cup on railroad trains, but one can go to the water cooler and 

 drink out of one's own cup, then go back and sit in a car seat 

 which a tubei-cuJosis subject has just vacated, and when night 

 comes you can go and crawl into a sleeping berth he has just 

 occupied the night l)efore witJL no ciiange of bedding, save, per- 



