362 



THE INDIA RUBBER WORLD 



[August i, 1908. 



"First, I would like to present the premier reward personally. 

 So that you may understand the significance of this presentation, 

 I would like to call your attention to the record of one of our 

 members in the service of our great government. He not only 

 served his country diligently and well in the halls of Congress, 

 but he has been and is a potent factor in electing the best men 

 for the highest places in the gift of the people. He is now again 

 hard at work using his power and influence in the election of a 

 fitting candidate for the next presidential chair. The committee 

 have thought it a fitting testimonial of their appreciation of his 

 work and of their affection for the man himself, to present him 

 with a suitable decoration, which he is expected to wear until 

 next November." 



He then held aloft a three-foot campaign button intended for 

 the Hon. L. D. Apsley, who being absent was represented by Mr. 

 Fred. T. Ryder and who promised faithfully to deliver it to his 

 chief. The button, by the way, was inscribed, "Vote for W. J. 

 Bryan" and to one who has such an international reputation as a 

 loyal aggressive Republican it undoubtedly came as very much 

 of a surprise. 



The Vice President then read as follows : 



"As a preliminary to the giving of rewards of merit, members 

 of the executive committee, with their usual care and fore- 

 thought, went over the entire list of members of the New Eng- 

 land Rubber Club and discovered a large number, who during 

 the past year, by virtuous living, strict attention to business and 

 abstemious conduct, deserve practical appreciation. 



"The president and vice president made very strong bids for 

 prizes, claiming all sorts of good deeds performed, but were put 

 on probation for another year. Of the list of members who 

 have distinguished themselves by their virtuous lives, kind acts, 

 and deeds of valor, a number were selected by lot, as the treas- 

 urer refused to furnish funds for more than that number of 

 prizes. They are as follows : 



"George Edwin Alden, who distinguished himself as a special 

 policeman in the town of Wellesley, and thereby has been en- 

 abled to run his automobile fifty miles per hour and claim he 

 was trying to arrest a transgressor. (A toy police helmet and a 

 huge policeman's club.) 



"George S. Andrus, who broug'ht from the middle West one 

 of the largest appendixes ever known and in which he had just 

 pride, only to have it taken away from him shortly after his 

 arrival in Hudson — to him is returned the member of which he 

 was so suddenly deprived. (Given a crooked necked squash.) 



"It is known to all that Mr. Francis H. Appleton has reclaimed 

 hundred.-; from the sober paths of Masonry and turned them 

 into Shriners, in which body he is a particular shining light. To 

 him is donated this beautiful golden Shriner's badge, as a token 

 of our appreciation of his unequalled capacity for camel's milk. 

 ( .\ tin scimitar and crescent, about 20 inches across.) 



"Charles H. Arnold, financier, rubber importer and farmer, 

 mostly the latter, is hereby presented with a load of hay. The 

 season has been dry — so is .\rnold. (A toy cart loaded with 

 excelsior.) 



"Charles J. Bailey—he of the 'Won't Slip' tire, hard rubber 

 tooth brushes, daily exerciser for weak and feeble youth, the 

 'Won't Wear' rubber shoes, and perennial good nature— is pre- 

 sented with a real complexion brush. (A curry comb.) 



"The secretary of the club. Mr. Rice, good natured, hustling, 

 and always late at executive committee meetings, is presented 

 with an early morning soother for his infant son so that 'Bobbie' 

 will have no further excuses for tardiness. (A rubber 'infant's 

 delight.') 



"The editor of the rubber department of the Boot and Shoe 

 Recorder, Putnam of the three initials, is asked to accept this 

 beautiful fountain pen as a slight token of our affection, and our 

 desire for further and more copious trade notes. We are sure 

 that with this '0-pen Sesame' he will be a 'World beater.' 

 (Gigantic fountain pen, nearly 4 feet long.) 



"That the ex-treasurer, Mr. George P. Whitmorc, may be able 



to appreciate the contented look upon his own face when smok- 

 ing his usual 'Porto-Rican,' the following replica of innate good 

 nature, is presented: (A huge smiling plaster face from between 

 the lips of which projected a large cigar.) 



"How much the rubber trade have to thank tlie head of the 

 Revere Rubber Co. for his constant and quiet helpfulness, no 

 man can estimate. He never talks much, but always does the 

 right thing. The committee, therefore, take great pride in pre- 

 senting him with what they conceive to be one of his great in- 

 ventions, a lasting boon to humanity, a package of 'Dr. Will- 

 iams's Pink Pills for Pale People.' 



"The president of the Tyer Rubber Co. has made an interna- 

 tional reputation for long drives, particularly in golf; that he 

 may make still longer drives, of which the committee is assured, 

 they take pleasure in presenting him with a special importation 

 from England — the 'Hercules' driver, and 'Goliath' golf ball. 

 (An exaggerated driver and monster golf ball.) 



"All things and all men are known in degrees. Some are 'first' 

 and some are 'seconds.' Now it is a well known fact that no 

 manufacturer ever makes 'seconds,' but in order to bow to the 

 demands of the customers, 'punched' goods have been created. 

 Some people sell 'firsts' and some sell 'seconds.' 'Seconds' in 

 rubber footwear are known as 'punched' goods. That one of 

 our members has waxed fat and prosperous on the sale of 

 punched goods, with a modicum of punch on the side, is a certi- 

 fied fact. The committee testifies to its appreciation of him and 

 his success, by presenting him with this beautiful punch. (It 

 went to George H. Mayo.) 



"Mr. Taft (not our Ben, but the Republican nominee) has 

 said that 'No gentleman weighs over 300 pounds.' which, coming 

 to the ears of one of the club's heavyweights, resulted in much 

 mortifying of the flesh, a great reduction in w-eight, and the re- 

 sultant sylph-like figure which you all now have the opportunity 

 to admire. As an earnest of our desire to be sincerely helpful, 

 we lovingly present him herewith a pair of waist reducers. (To 

 B. F. Taft.) 



"New brooms sweep clean. To Habich, the newest of the 

 Boston brooms in the crude rubber line, we tender this reward of 

 merit. (A broom.) 



"The Vocometer is a machine which registers not alone the 

 speed at which a person talks, but also the number of words 

 passing through the lips during the course of the day's conversa- 

 tion. The holder of the record as measured by this instrument 

 of precision is a member of our club, but it was not until several 

 instruments had been broken and new and stronger parts sup- 

 plied, that the record was obtained. The record is 250 words 

 per minute, or an aggregate of 150,000 words for a day of ten 

 hours. We have not been able to induce any member of his 

 family to give the record for the rest of the 24 hours, but they 

 do say he is equally gifted in talking in his sleep. We present 

 him with the most recent instrument. ( To Wilber E. F'arring- 

 ton.)" 



File rewards were received with applause and occasioned very 

 much amusement. All the recipients announced their intention 

 of preserving them as mementos of one of the best outings that 

 the New England Rubber Club has ever had. 



At the close of the dinner the feasters took the boat for Bos- 

 ton, arriving about 10 o'clock, after a long day of fun, social 

 intercourse, good cheer, and a renewal of old friendships and 

 the forming of mauv new ones. 



The Continental Caoutchoucun Guttapercha Compngnie, of 

 Hanover, report a larger turnover during 1907 than in former 

 years. The net profit amounted to 2,942.972 marks [=$700,- 

 429.34], against 2,741,455 marks in 1906. The dividend, 40 per 

 cent., amounts to 2,400,000 marks. .\ dividend of 15 per cent, is 

 spoken of for the English branch, the Continental Tyre and Rub- 

 ber Co. (Great Britain) Limited. 



